I’m still thinking about the three demons that bothered me. Even though I’ve reconciled myself to them, rendered them harmless, I’ve taken another tack to complete the process.
I can readily see that yes, I am inferior to many others; that I have taken a wrong turn or two in attempting things, IOW I’ve failed a time or two; and that self-doubt is actually a good thing if it doesn’t disable.
We are going through a lot of old pictures and memorabilia that mom left behind. There were stages through which I went as I lived through this lifetime. Always engaged in some pursuit or another and always achieving some degree of success. That is the key word, some degree of success. Performance is relative. The quality of it depends on how well one is prepared for the task. A performance that hasn’t been rehearsed will flop. With this thought in mind I went at it from another angle.
Looking at all of the things that I tried, some were higher on the success grade than others. Judging the results of any attempted activity, one would be wise to look at the bell shaped curve of normal distribution, i.e. all of the people in one’s world, and take a judgment call, put a point on the x-axis where this one’s results may fall in absolute terms; then put another point on the axis at the level of preparedness compared to all others.
Preparedness deserves some exposition. Preparation begins with the first recognition one has of his surroundings, at a very early age. It continues through the way his parents, his family, his extended family, teachers, and other people of influence, the environment in which one finds himself at various times during his lifetime, i.e. not only his developing years. When one has had the best of all of these, there is a good possibility that he will be in the very highest percentile of achievements. So while there is no limit to what anyone can accomplish with/in his lifetime, there are those who start with an advantage. Being properly prepared doesn’t mean success will come, it means that the possibility of success is greater.
The inferiority complex comes in when one focuses on how his situation fits into that of those with whom he is competing. The key to not being debilitated by that over which one has no control, no influence, no ability to go back and do over, is to accept reality and not try to be something or someone he isn’t. There are those who will flatter and be obsequious. Often they have an ax to grind and are not your fan club; face it, you don’t have a fan club except your wife and kids.
The common trait of all those who get to the top is strategic vision i.e. be able to state what they want. Then in the here and now, tactically at this juncture, see what they need, clearly and completely, and achieve it. Then just before that is achieved, realizing that it is coming soon, they are able to see what is next on the agenda. It is always the incremental next task, the next brick in the wall. Then there are the occasions when one gets connected to Essence and things happen rather fast. This is why focusing on that one overall strategic vision is so important. Confusion is caused by too many choices, to many high priority items and nothing happens.
One can immediately see that all of this focus on inferiority and failure is moot. It is an emotional reaction and tied to the distractions of inner-considering, and vanity. It buys us nothing but distracts us from working on aim. When one is working on aim, he is productive.
Self-doubt/approval-avoiding disapproval is another thing that needs some elucidation. On the one hand, it is important. One can’t go ahead in response to emotional reactions; so it is important to keep this/these in proper perspective. There is time for analysis and then there’s decision time. The decision is not always consistent with the analysis and these are two different and distinct features of the brain-body. Logical reasoning is one feature, decision making is another. They are two distinct and different features. The doubt comes in when these two are battling it out. Decision maker has a high level of emotional content whereas Analyzer has a high level of intellectual content. Decision maker wants to act; Analyzer wants to continue with the analysis; hence, the doubt. Unless and until analyzer is satisfied that all has been considered, then he’s comfortable with going ahead.
Approval-avoiding disapproval comes from Analyzer’s limited emotional content. It is an argument that he uses to derail Decision maker and get more analysis time. The approval-avoiding disapproval being sought is not that of others but me, or made to seem that way by Analyzer. He is the cause of paralysis by analysis, a relatively common management term. The only way to cope with this is by rational thinking and seeing it for what it is. As for approval-avoiding disapproval of other people, that’s ridiculous as long as I continue to operate sensitively, morally, ethically, and legally.
These three goofballs are always waiting in the wings to step in and add emotional turmoil to an uncertain situation. Once the statement of strategic aim is made, they go into the background again and keep to their places.
It took me several meetings with Jim to sort this all out. The three were having their way with me and, I suppose because it is all me, I wasn’t seeing it without talking it out, writing it out. In this instance there was some good work on the first level with the assistance of Jim and his various techniques. He/they enabled me to put things aright again; make a decision and go on from here.
My strategic vision is to be a stage performer; finding opportunities, auditioning, learning lines, rehearsing, and performing.
No comments:
Post a Comment