Understanding

Just recently, the face of a childhood friend appeared in a dream.  He was no longer 11 years old but a mature man, in about his 30's, and there was no mistaking that it was he.  We greeted each other, had a handshake and a quick man-hug.  Then he was gone again.  After several days I was unable to reach a conclusion as to why.  I simply put it aside.  After all, my friend has been dead for a number of years now.

A piece of the puzzle is that for more than a year now one of the other residents of this rather large apartment complex, has taken great pains to avoid me.  When we first met, as is the usual thing, we talked about from whence we came.  He said he went to a certain school and, what do you know? it is the same one from which I graduated.  Because of our ages, we would have overlapped by a couple of years.  Shortly after that, I noticed the aversion.

It isn't my imagination.  Cases in point: I saw him retreat to a corner where my view of him was blocked until I got on the elevator and it departed; another time, he and his wife got off the elevator they were on waiting to go down.  When I got on with them, they bolted off.  Another time, they left the fitness center before their therapy session was over when I arrived to do my workout.

All of this made me wonder, what on earth?! So I researched graduation records from my school for several years before and after my graduation.  His name was not among those who graduated.

Another piece of the puzzle is me.  I invested in a business venture that went nowhere under my leadership.  Another resident, here, turns out to be the father-in-law of the person who bought that business.  When invited to have dinner with them, I demurred saying that I didn't want to be reminded of all that.  That I'd be happy to say hello and be social, but I did not want to spend a lot of time with them.  It seems to have been understood, and our acquaintance hasn't been affected by it.  I saw them, greeted them, and traded some small talk, then moved on.  My, less than successful, business attempt, was finally faced and reconciled in my mind by admitting that I had not realized the success I'd imagined.  

Back to my grade school friend.  He was the victim of a sexual predator, a homosexual choir master who preyed on several of the boys.  It became known among the school children but not specifically my friend's experience.  Although I became aware of it, maybe he confided in me.  I don't remember. This friend and I went to the same high school and the same college but never associated with each other after grade school.  I didn't think anything of it, ever, until now.  He had experienced something of which he didn't want to be reminded.  Associating with me would have done that.  Now I know and understand.  He appeared in a dream; perhaps my mind was at work, to resolve some issues.

This whole thing is quite interesting.  My mind mulled over events that occurred more than 65 years ago, as well has events that occurred more than 25 years ago, and played them against events that are now occurring, and reached an understanding of it all.  We all do things, of which we don't want to be reminded.  Unless we face them, we will continue to be haunted by them.

  

Memorizing Script

 The rehearsal process is complete on this latest production. The final step for me was to go through my part, from start to finish, in mind.  Now, for good, or not, this is the process I use for getting the role in mind.

1) Read, and if possible view, the entire play.  I watch video and read the script.  All to get a sense of what it is about.  This, however, only gives me a general view of the piece.

2) The initial read-through by the entire cast is important because it gives the other characters voice.  It also begins to bring the script into focus, which is a slow process.

3) The next step, even as rehearsals begin, is a digital file, usually in a spreadsheet workbook format, that contains the script.  If a digital copy of it exists, even .pdf, it can be brought over to the spreadsheet.

4) My character's lines are then isolated in a column marked Me.  Other columns are "the other", moves (blocking), and initials, being the initial letter of each word of my lines.  This may be seen as time consuming, but it is worth the effort.

5) The entire role, including preceding and succeeding others, is then audio recorded using Audacity (or similar recording program). The cue lines (from other character to mine) are recorded as are the next line after my lines.

6) That file is edited using Audacity, deleting my lines but leaving the same silent space for them to be read/recited off mic.

ASIDE: in capturing and recording the script, only the preceding and succeeding lines are displayed and recorded along with my lines.  All others are indicated by name only.

7) Then the rote begins, and continues daily, 1x, or even 2x or 3x per, until the play is ended.

8) Rehearsal brings in the blocking, which is added as notes in another column.  It also allows one to develop interactions with the others; as in, do I like/dislike, admire/abhor, love/hate them, and why? In fact, the relationship lies on a continuum from one extreme to the other and can change during the course of the action.

9) Monologues may require additional emotional content and, therefore, can be copied into their own file for study purposes.  They may take more time than the rest of the script due to their emotional arc.

10) A cryptic outline of my part is then compiled/written/derived, to cue lines and allow the flow of the scenes to be "seen" in short form.  It can include hints for action/movement for quick reference during the beginning phases of rehearsal, then used off-stage when working "off-book"

11) The rote is repeated daily until the whole thing is in mind, clicks.

12) It is repeated/ reviewed before each performance and even on off-days.

At some point, it all will be in mind to the point that it is no longer necessary to keep the rote going.  It is, however, good to refer to the cryptic outline to avoid omissions and errors in blocking until the actor is absolutely sure of it all.

Master Revisited

 

Over time, I've referred to a part of my being as Master.  As is the case with a developing understanding of Life and Living, I have altered my opinion. That to which I have referred as Master is the impressed framework of allowable choices and behaviors.  This framework is "tres forte"  in that to make decisions contrary to it can cause an extreme reaction.

In vernacular parlance, this situation is called going against one's conscience.  All of my examination of the ins and outs of my experiences lead me right back to the accepted version of judging behavior.  It either agrees or disagrees with our conscience.  When the behavior is violaties conscience,  we can experience harmful results, induced by psychological reactions.

It is somewhat reassuring to note that the opinions of the past can be seen to agree with the conclusions of the present.

A Winning Strategy

This winning strategy, there may be more than one, has five components, each of which has to be in place at the time of the competition/performance. They are: (1) Intelligence, (2) Imagination, (3) Discipline, (4) Emotional Control, and (5) Practiced Personae.

Intelligence consists of knowledge of the game, and the ability to formulate a series of future actions, during the competition that will move the performer towards the win.  It also includes the ability to read the competition and adjust the game plan to take advantage of opportunities.  It draws on experience in not only this competition, but all previous.

Imagination consists of extrapolating the information gathered by intelligence into a plan of action.  All of what has transpired earlier, all the way back to the very beginning, is available for imagination to use.

Discipline is in the form of knowing what to do and doing it.  It has to be an integral part of a person.  It is part and parcel of the individual as affairs are conducted, in and out of competition.

Emotional Control is in the form of dealing with an evolving situation that may, or may not, be according to plan.  Emotions are evoked by both successful and unsuccessful results.  They can also come from reacting to a competitor's performance.  There's a tendency to compare during competition and this comparison can evoke an emotional response.  It even goes deeper into self-image, history of success and failures, damaging self-talk, and reactions to perceived judgement by others.  Suffice it to say that when emotions gain influence, results can be affected.  Admittedly, sometimes positively, but most of the time not so.

Practice builds a level of skill.  Actively thinking about the act to be taken is detrimental to the success of the action.  Consciously allowing the practiced persona to take the action allows that practice to be utilized.  This turnover needs to be made at the instant of the action, be it a swing, a shot, a step, or whatever.  If other personae get involved, the result is compromised.  That involvement has the same affect as spectators distracting the players.  Once the act is taken, the other aspects of the strategy come back into play.

This strategy works for any and all performances, regardless.   

We're Here; How and to Where

This is my best effort to give justice to these ideas.  Pondering those who have gone before us, what they wrote, what they did, I wondered how they were able to do so, given the extant knowledge of their times.  A clue came to me when a suggestion appeared on my YouTube screen today, The Twelve Most Difficult Books ever written.

At one point in my lifetime, I visited Cambridge University in England.  There, I often heard the phrase; it was here that so and so read whatever.  As if education came solely from reading.  Then there was reference to how Abraham Lincoln acquired his knowledge by reading in sun, fire, and candle light.  The signers of the Declaration of Independence, of the colonies from England, all came from diverse places and backgrounds but shared one thing.  They were well-read in the books of that time. 

There is a similar thread that passes through our history, our brains are trained to think in a certain way.  It seems that this happens through being exposed to formative thinking via books and teachers.

Our schooling system, from infanthood through PhD is built on the same structure.  We are exposed to successful thinking through reading and the influence of others who are steeped in the knowledge we seek.  In the university system, the gradation of degrees prepares the student for participation. Those who have the desire, and demonstrate the ability, are brought along to the summit by those who have already achieved it.

Our mind, however, is different from our brain. It chooses that about which we think.  Analogous to hardware and software in our computers.  It is that choice that decides what we accomplish, both individually and as a group.

This is the structure of our Western civilization.  It is different from that of other civilizations such as Islam, Hindu, Buddhism, Judaism et al.  While these seem to be religions, they go deeper in that they prescribe a way of thinking, another way of saying a civilization. This is the struggle we are facing now. Which will dominate?

The human population of the world is expanding, and some civilizations are not capable of meeting the perceived needs of the people.  The people, therefore, look for other civilizations that appear able to do so.  Then they move towards them.  Unfortunately, when they don't change their way of thinking, and attempt to impose it on the locations and existing population to where they move, major problems can occur.

This, in a nutshell, is where we are today.  The philosophies of some extant civilizations have morphed to allow material and spiritual needs to be satisfied, others have not.  One in particular is Islam, who has adhered to beliefs that are not compatible with the current human experience. Thus, we have the situation that exists in the middle east, unrest.  Some move and don't assimilate, which is problematic.

In the future, as we continue to run out of habitable space, the situation will only get worse, unless and until the philosophies merge, reconstructing into a workable situation.  If the past is prolog, there is hardly a chance of that happening. Another alternative is annihilation of the weaker until there is only one. A third is continued co-existence which will only last as long as there is enough room, so this is not a long-term possibility.

Ponderable

Life happens all day long.  Some days are peaceful, almost boring.  Others are hectic, almost frenetic, and anywhere in between.  Then we go to sleep.  While we sleep, we put it all away.  Then we awaken and start all over again, only it isn't quite from the same place, is it? No, not quite.  Then add up all the days and you have a lifetime.  How far from where it started depends on all that has happened as it incrementally transformed us.  This is ponderable.

It happens.  It just happens.  It seems like we should be able to manage it, but we can't.  It happens, regardless.  Some of it is shaped by our dreams, some of it is shaped by habits, by impressions, by influences past, by our appetites, some of it is like a game played in competition with another, over whom we have no control.  All of it happens, all of it gets processed, reconciled, put into perspective, and put away for reference, or not.  The cumulative effect is who we are, what we do, how we respond.

That all of it disappears when the body dies seems like such a waste.  On the other hand, if all of what happened has value to a core-being that continues to exist, then it would be of, more or less, permanent value.

From Shakespeare: 

Sleep that knits up the ravell’d sleave of care,
The death of each day’s life, sore labour’s bath,
Balm of hurt minds, great nature’s second course,
Chief nourisher in life’s feast.’”** Open Source Shakespeare+1

A Professional Appearance

It is the day of the performance.  It began as would any other of my days, forty minutes in the Fitness Center. Today doing tumbling and the loaded carry, one of three rotating routines, which would be on my schedule for today.  I returned to the apartment with our lunch.

Afterwards, I donned my costume, black pants and coat with tails, white shirt, a black string tie, and chin whiskers, finished with a top hat.  Sheridan was found, with my mic, which we tested.  Faye, the accompanist, appeared and sat at the piano in front of the stage in the theater.  She softly played The Battle Hymn of the Republic.

People came in and filled the theater seats. Sheridan took the stage and did her American history presentation to the point of the Civil War.  When Lincoln's picture appeared on the screen, I turned on my mic and stepped to the middle of the space between the audience and the stage, at floor level.

There, I delivered a preamble, which I had prepared, to historically set the stage.  When I said, "I think they are ready to announce me." Sheridan said, "The President of the United States."

I mounted the steps to the stage, put my top hat on the podium, and gave the Gettysburg Address, from center stage.  It was well received by all. In my humble opinion it was a professional performance, celebrating the 250th Birthday of our great nation.