Moving On

Saturday, October 31, 2009
This is the last day of my batching it with Carola being in California with Theresa and the kiddies; it’s been a pretty good experience. A friend at Rotary Club lost his wife six years ago, she died. He has a lot of experience in living alone and remarked that it took him a long time to get used to her being permanently gone. I won’t/don’t have that problem because Carola is coming home tomorrow.

We have another dress rehearsal tomorrow afternoon and performances on Tuesday and Thursday next week. The play is coming together nicely; Dr. Greene has a lot of experience in all of this and lets it evolve week after week. He also has a lot of creativity. Faced with an unusual class member, he invented a character, Voltaire, wrote an introduction, and a mid-play continuum for the character and it works together very nicely. He has also taken care of the music, the lights, the videotaping, and publicity. I noticed he had director’s notes during the last rehearsal, something I thought he’d been missing. For a French class, this has been a growth experience for me.

I’ve written about self-doubt and what follows is not that but rather an attempt at taking an objective look at where I am and how I am doing in that class. On the positive side, I am in the class, know my lines, and interact somewhat with others in the class. I am not butting in to give any kind of advice or counsel to anyone; not suggesting anything, not directing in any way. I am also not helping with tasks that others have had assigned to them. 

On the less positive side, I am uptight about my lines, not relaxed and “In character.” My lines are not that long or involved, and I know them. My costume is great, as is my makeup. The only reason I am not loose and in character may be the language thing. I am still thinking too much about what and how I am delivering them instead of letting Voltaire come through. That will be my goal tomorrow.

It is now late in the afternoon, I slept until 9am and left the house to go riding at eleven; back at 1:30pm, and I ate lunch and fooled around with Sudoku until about now. For some reason, the small of my back has muscle spasms and I am dealing with that now. They started after lunch and could have been the result of riding and/or not doing two critical stretches this morning because of a belly full of breakfast. I am going to have to let these subside by not doing much of any exercise or work; or perhaps doing the stretches that I missed, and/or doing the straps to force the relaxation of the muscles.

The week has been productive but I am willing to admit that there hasn’t been a lot on my plate; and this is probably a good thing. I am content with having to concentrate on the play and the presentation at the Consul’s meeting next Friday. We are all set to go to Athens Georgia for John’s graduation from a Navy School and to go to California for Thanksgiving. I’ve kept up with my dailies and weeklies, the laundry is done, the house is the same as when Carola left, some of mom’s effects are gone, others staged for moving, the kitchen is clean, the yard is fine so it isn’t as if I haven’t been doing anything. It’s more of the feeling that I often have, of not doing anything of consequence.

All the while I am concentrating on this one single thing, the play; Dr. Greene is likewise as well as teaching a myriad of other classes and preparing a paper to give at a symposium sometime in November. Others in the class are not only doing the play but also handling a list of classes that would not be possible for me. Although it is hard to admit, age has a lot to do with it. Ed Causey warned me that I would be slowing down, i.e. unable to handle lots of simultaneous major issues. This is a generic issue that affects all people. It is important that I recognize it and continue to allow myself some slack.

It continues to be important to pick that one thing upon which I will concentrate when the play is over. It will be the presentation on Nov 6 and then there may be an LTM in Evansville starting up shortly thereafter. Jack called this week to tell me they are shooting for November 11, although it may be shoved back a few weeks or all the way to January; it will be difficult to get all seven sessions in before Xmas.

Since I’ve made my decision to continue acting/ performing, I will be making my overtures to Dr. Tompkins for Acting ii as well as taking some time to find the various stage opportunities that exist locally. I am aware of several and have been seeing them here and there as I drive around. Acting ii is important because it will prepare me; finding the locations allows me to get a feel for what/where I may be performing. I may go to productions at the various locations just to experience the milieu. These two things are significant and important to my continuing on this course of action. Should Dr. Tompkins refuse me, I will have to find another source of preparing me for the stage.

One of the things I became aware of during the past couple of months, and s.t. that is expanded in a previous blog, is the role of preparation in success. I even made a 2x2 of it with the x-axis being a continuum of preparation from general to specific and the y-axis being lo and hi achievement. The four quadrants are 0-0 couldn’t figure it out, 0-1 success in unchartered territory, 1-0 inexperienced, 1-1 success expected. The conclusion is the obvious, the better prepared one thinks he is, the higher the expectation of success.