It is Thursday afternoon, raining and cool. There isn’t anything pending for me to do, nothing pressing, nothing important. I’ve taken care of the few tasks on which people were waiting but now there’s nothing. This has been the case for years and years only I didn’t realize it until recently. There is nothing that I have to do—today, and I like it this way.
I worked in a large organization for a long time and got to the point where I was calling the shots on what needed to be done and when. The requirements would be generally explained to me and it was up to me, and my organization, to meet them. As with everyone, I started out in the first degree of freedom, which is wait here until I tell you what to do, do it and then come back to me. Then through successfully operating within that one for a short while I advanced to the second, which is see something that needs doing, ask if you can do it. Once this happened with regularity, I pushed on to the third degree which is, seeing something that needs doing, do it then report. Finally the fourth degree, know what has to be done and do it, reporting periodically.
This is the level to which all independent thinkers aspire. Advancement in an organization depends on operating successfully at this degree of freedom. The bigger the task the more freedom you have. Beware of the politics all along the way.
And yet when I look at today's situation objectively, except for being fawned over by nubile young things, I am at a point in my life where I am able to do whatever and that includes nothing. About all that I really must do is pay my taxes and stay street legal.
Being resourceful I have constructed a way to come up with stuff to do. I call them my Endeavors and there are now about 15 or so of them, down from eighteen. For these I've identified two categories of activity, what I want to accomplish in each Endeavor this year and in what kinds of activities I will engage during the year within these Endeavors. To set it up, I take the time between the winter solstice and the New Year for planning the year ahead; then weekly review where I am and set up tasks for the week ahead.
Lacking this sort of structure, one may get involved in s.t. that is harmful, detrimental, or wind up in a place where he doesn’t want to be. Sort of like leaving the gate to the pasture open, the horse leaves the enclosure but doesn’t have a clue as to where he is going or why, he just meanders around the neighborhood looking for good things to eat. But put tack on that horse and get a good rider in the saddle, wow!
Then there are days like today when I just don’t feel like doing anything so I won’t. But honestly, when I had my business, and I was working, there were many days when I simply didn’t know what to do. My imagination would fail me and I would do something even if it meant getting into a jam and then have to get out of it again. Sometimes days like this require patience and a good positive attitude, one that says, “Yes, a little down time is good now and then.”
But there is something in here that is not at all satisfied with days like this. On the one hand I want to do, on the other I don’t. Writing is a good compromise, it is allows me to be doing without really doing anything beyond getting some thoughts up on the screen. If I was writing a story, play, poem, or presentation, I would get all involved in it and lose all sense of time, whereas now the minutes seem to be slowly passing. And this is a good yardstick, for me anyway, how quickly does time apparently elapse.
I know, for example if I get involved in a Sudoku puzzle, time can slip away and all of a sudden I’m up against a commitment, be it a meeting or a meal to prepare. Same is true of being involved in learning a software package, creating a power point presentation, writing a story, drawing a picture, preparing financial statements, rehearsing a script/presentation. Armed with this knowledge on days like this, I eschew these activities and simply graze in my pasture, doing things that aren’t necessary, don’t have a deadline, don’t require immersion.
The above mentioned actys, as well as participating in sports/ games/ conversations, or watching movies/plays/concerts all have one thing in common, they call for one, or a very few, personae to get completely involved to the exclusion of all the others. Often, I get involved in these activities without regard for how constructive they are. IOW (an often used abbreviation for In Other Words) they become what seems in retrospect to be a big waste of time, whereas writing for an audience, even of one, or playing competitively, or reaching some sort of useful result does not. I am against wasting time but I am also against snacking, which means intellectually and emotionally I prefer not to but…
This blog is good for me because I can write and delude myself into thinking that there is an audience out there who may read my entries from time to time, even enjoy them. This was what Open Floodgate did for me with the added dimension that it wasn’t a delusion. There were more than 5,500 views of my creations on that site. It made me aware of the need I have for an audience.
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