On Getting and Paying for It

One of the first concerns I have when setting out to get something is, “Am I supposed to have this?”  It comes to mind first, before my decision to get it.  Then, “Can I afford it?” The cost of something is a primary concern unless it is something I really want and then it is of no concern.  Buying decisions are not rational, nor objective; they are emotional

Price and a sense of what the thing is worth factor heavily into any decision to buy.  If I get the feeling that I am being used somehow, I don’t participate in that market unless it is absolutely necessary.  Buying a car and selling a house are two major examples.

With the car, the dealership, no matter what they say,  is poised to take advantage of the buyer.   So I have purchased cars from individuals and felt pretty good about it; from dealerships and felt terrible about it, as if I’d been unfairly used by them for their profit.  I tend to buy and keep a car for as long as possible to avoid the market.

The same with selling a house; usurious fees for real estate agents tend to discoruage me from moving from one residence to another.  I sold our first house in 1973 and paid a Realtor, second and third in 1985 and 1989 and the company paid for these sales; we are living in the fourth and the thought of paying 7% of the selling price will keep me in place until it is absolutely necessary to move.

On the other hand,  there are things that I wanted so badly that I didn't think about the cost/ price of it and probably paid a large premium for them.  Some examples are: work clothes, i.e. suits, shirts, ties, and shoes when I joined the management of the company, Dale Carnegie training, my sailboats, ski trips, travels around France and Europe while there, and our current house.

Much of my attitude about money was shaped when I sat down at age 18 and independently figured out how much we would need to go back to college and get my degree.  I had to pinch pennies and put whatever I could into savings to get that amount, and get it I did.

It was just enough because we were flat broke upon graduation. I had in my pocket enough to get by a week or two in Newport News until my first paycheck came through; and the discipline didn't stop after that.  It was a financial struggle the whole time until we moved to Houston.  It was then that the money situation eased up a bit and we were flush.  My salary was nearly doubled to give you an idea of the situation in Newport News.

There were psychological influences on me after that due to many years of scrimping and saving and they continue to confine my thinking, somewhat.  We continue to live carefully but not frugally. We enjoyed life in a limited way in Houston and amassed a decent amount of savings, which when added to the appreciation we realized on our houses gave us a nice “nut” to invest.

It was invested in a no-load mutual fund that met criteria that I set.  It had to have a certain capitalization, a good track record over-all, and it had to have made it through the mid-eighties recession without a loss.  I found such a fund and it was a very successful investment.  The appreciated value of the original investment allowed us to build this house and make the necessary investment in a franchise.

When we came back from France there was also enough money that we didn't have to be concerned about it.  Then I got laid off but still we weren't concerned about money because the company made a generous separation settlement.  We were able to get settled in Louisville without difficulty and have everything we need.

I realize that cost and price are not related in most instances.  That price is set by some subjective reasoning based on market value and that a seller will do all in his power to get his price.  He will lie, cheat, and misrepresent as much as possible to get the sale.  It is this suspicion that keeps me alert.  I hear war stories from salespeople, I read about scams; I know that market sets the price but a good salesman can prey upon a relationship to keep a buyer in place. 

All of this makes me more than suspicious; it makes me cynical of others’ motives but in most instances I am sensitive and want people to like me, not cold, calculating, ruthless, and insensitive.  Therefore I don't push for the lower price, the better deal to get the balance on my side.

On this issue I am less than routinely successful but there were many instances while I was working at the shipyard, corporate headquarters, France, and especially in my own business operations that I was able to forge a good, if not exemplary deal and see it through but my basic temperament is more kindly and submissive than that.

Aware of this “nice guy” weakness, I approach things in a different way.  I resolve ahead of time what I want and need to make a deal, qualify a supplier and then pretty much give in to the deal offered.  Often it seems better than what I was thinking about in the first place; more verification that I don’t have a lot of imagination in the marketplace.

As I now think about it, there isn't much that is critical of the way I am handling our finances except for a lack of imagination.  I can reflect upon all the different criteria that have influenced my choices along the way, even today.  Independent of need and desire is the avoidance being “taken.”  I approach any situation involving the exchange of money, whether I’m buying or selling, with trepidation.