On Leaving Here

(Since posting this, I've realized that it isn't necessary to move to NY, LA, or Chicago to work there; one can work there and live anywhere so long as he has travel money.)

Why have I remained here so long?  We got rid of the business 14 years ago in May; I haven’t worked or tried to get a job since.  For the first several years after giving up the business, I worked part time here and there halfheartedly trying to find something to which to devote my time.  Then there was Mom and all of that.  Since she died in 2009, I've been involved in theater and film, and filling in the rest of the time participating in activities that I enjoy.

The only things holding us here are the physical and emotional impacts of selling the house and relocating to a different place.   Many of the people we know would soon be forgotten, just as we would be by them and we would have to start all over again.

All that we have would either be discarded or packed and taken along.  We have accumulated a lot of things, most of which are worthless to anyone but us.  We don’t throw away anything that we have here that we think may be of some use to us.

So, let’s do some hypothetical thinking.  Suppose we were offered a move that would net for us the equity we have in the house and would allow us to take along everything that we felt was necessary.  I.O.W, the same deal that we had upon leaving Newport News.

Why would we leave here?  I want to be an actor that audiences want to pay good money to see on stage and in film.  The prospect is bleak for finding enough work here as an actor on stage, in film and commercials.  There are plenty of stage opportunities but they are gratis, i.e. for the love of the art; paid work is a limited market for films, commercials, and modeling.

The entertainment and cultural aspects of this location are high-end minor league and the psyche of the city is myopic.  There don’t seem to be identifiable core businesses that are local, all are owned by others who don’t live here; hence the understanding of what it takes is missing. 

The local managements of the big companies are not involved in the community as leaders because their future is elsewhere.  The movers and shakers are not here and what is left has more form than substance.

Why would we stay here?  We are settled here, adapted to the culture, and have everything that we need.  We have acquaintances upon whom we can call if there’s an emergency.

There are doctors, hospitals, professionals of all sorts.  We are comfortable in the marketplace.  The sources of satisfaction for all of my endeavors, and more, are available.  The University, library, and museum scenes are good and available to us.  The city is large enough to afford a certain familiarity and anonymity at the same time.   

I am aware that as a person gets older his world seems to begin to shrink around him.  It is no longer all that important to be seen out and about.  The circle of people with whom one associates tends to be smaller and less frequent without a feeling of loss.  We tend to eat less, use less, keep less, buy less, wear out and discard more.  Although it seems that way it isn’t necessarily true; it could be that our imagination grows less active; still the energy to get out and do is ebbing.

Then there’s the uncertainty that making a leap of faith entails.  While we have an income upon which to rely for basics, there’s always the chance that all would be forsaken in Chicago, Houston, Los Angeles, New York, or San Francisco.  It may be that fear is holding me back.  

The Newport News strategy was a decision.  I wanted to get away from St. Louis and be on my own; the shipyard offered me the way to do that.  I/we didn't know anything about the city, the area, the state except what we were able to glean from publications, which was scant little.  The other major relocations to Houston, then Europe, and Milwaukee were dictated by the company.
  

The move here was likewise motivated by the market that was available and research about the place including an exploratory visit.  It was, however, more based on blind faith than anything else.  A different strategy could be employed, different from any of the others.  In retrospect, the way we picked Louisville was pretty good.

A move away would be preceded by secondary and primary research; reading local papers, finding the locations in them that are desirable, looking at playbills of current events, and generally getting a sense of how it would be.  Use local connections through Rotary Clubs and visit to gauge the social milieu that goes along with the location and life style.  Then make the decision and go.

When I think of my current situation, marketing oneself is an activity in which one must spend time and effort, now and if we would make a move.  We are active in the theater circles, especially when I’m working.

There are things to do and people with whom to associate.  This would be a good bit of rehearsal for the larger stage, being involved with the Arts community even more than I currently am; perhaps working in a community theater organization, continuing to take classes wherever and whenever I can, and keep the image out there on Facebook, which seems to be the local advertising media for the acting community.  There is a balance to be struck not to overdo it.

My belief in the omniscient connection may be the answer; what will be is what I want.  There are so many of me involved in the decision that it may seem irrational when it happens but it will be for the best.  Meanwhile I’ll continue to pursue my endeavors and work on my goals and objectives.  The dreams that I have can be pursued actively here and now without fear of wasting time or effort.  

Que sera sera avec une peu de l’aide de l’âme.