The Funeral of My Mother

Sunday August 23, 2009

Mom was buried on August 20th, next to my father's body and Sally's, over her parents' and brother Fred's. I haven’t written since so I will, about the funeral and events before and after.

People flew in and drove from Chicago IL, Atlanta, Clarkesville, and Decatur GA, Orlando,and Louisville. We all gathered Wednesday night at Yacovelli's for dinner. The family was there and we enjoyed the meal and each other’s company. I think Betty Jane and Linda were there as well as Ronnie to show support for Carola.

Then on Thursday there was the funeral. More distant family and friends were there. The visitation was in the back of Church just prior to mass, then the mass. There were eulogies at Mass. I made one based on Shakespeare and gave mom’s life seven ages: youngster, schoolgirl, professional woman, wife and mother, grandmother, care-giver, and matriarch. I ended it saying she now knows something the rest of us don't, what happens at death; and if there is a life hereafter, and I think there is, I’m sure she’s smiling down on these proceedings. Carola told a nice story, Maggie went through a litany of memories, and Jane said a few sentences.

Father Buhr, pastor at OLHC, gave a nice homily. He compared being born from a mother’s womb to life, to dying and being born to eternal life. Don K was particularly impressed with it, remarking about it later.

The entourage drove through English Grove in route to the cemetery, where there was a graveside service. The day was sunny and cool for August and I’m sure mom smiled down on it all.

Thence to Cristo’s where all who had a desire to do so ate lunch, my treat. There was enough cash left over in mom’s checking account to cover it and the extra funeral expenses. There were about 30 people there for lunch. A few others had eulogies to say at Cristo’s; JoeM and Freddie said some nice things about mom. John couldn’t find his voice in his grief nor could anyone else.

I sit here congratulating myself on my fine family and our ability to perform. I feel like the leader of it and that Carola and the kids have developed their skills on my example. When John married we did the Lina Family skit; when Don and Maggie married we roasted Maggie/and me; now at Mom’s funeral we also performed.

I haven’t gone into the detail that this funeral situation deserves. It may be the circumstances around mom’s death; it may be the kids being here, it may be that I’m discombobulated all around. I want to do and I want to idle. So far to do has conquered to idle.

I made my plans for the week and I have lots to do. Class starts on Tuesday and continues until Xmas. Rotary club meets on Tuesday, each week, auditions are Tuesday and Wednesday, Sean and Marykate are here and we could ride. We may have a second round playoff match on Wednesday evening, the French Conversation club meets on Thursday, the grass need cutting, and I have to shop at Sam’s. The Fair goes on all week and I’ll go after class at least on Tuesday if not Thursday as well. Maggie and I will play golf tomorrow and again on Wednesday. There are movies to watch and Sudoku to be played as well as a list of daily and weekly tasks to perform. I’m eschewing cooking but will probably end up doing it.

And here we are at the fundamental juncture once again. I have 15 years minimum of good, solid, productive, lifetime. Time in which/during which I could accomplish much development; could even transfigure. I am proceeding somewhat with acting; this is a natural for me. I can say my endeavors “what” for it: audition, learn lines, rehearse, perform, and see that process has to be followed for all the endeavors. My main objective is to develop my endeavors to levels that are appropriate.

I am sufficiently diffused that I will probably never be a guru, in my mind or in the mind of others. Yet I can see that just as G’s mirror reflects my faults as seen in others, others respond/respect me in direct proportion to how much they see me respecting myself. If I feel like a loser, others see me feeling as such and treat me accordingly. A person is treated by others the way they interpret how/what they see the person treating himself. And all the acting in the world cannot keep them from seeing it—sooner or later.

I get an A+ for the way I handled the funeral and me. If such can be a success, this was a resounding.