Next Steps

Friday, August 27, 2009

Ok, the funeral is over and it is now time to get on with the rest of my life. I will take a few minutes now to reflect on that and then on Sunday I will go into my usual plotting and scheming mode and begin to turn the ship.

There is another possibility and that would be to get away and reflect, say at Bernheim or Jefferson Memorial Forest. I did this several times in the past, at Wm and Mary, at Berheim, and at a retreat house in Hampton VA; always with good results.

A third approach is to bring it up in conversation with people. It isn’t necessary to know them very well, only that they be good sounding boards for me for while. It can be a two way street for me and for them. I’ll have this opportunity tonight at the ball game with Dick and Lori. There is a reason to do all three and take the net results from all of them to decide the rte to take. So this is what I will do.

Wondering what people think of me is a form of vanity, well, it is vanity. Much of what I say and do is done with an eye toward making an image. Yet I am more aware of the fact that (1) people don’t notice my overt actions and (2) people see a sample of many actions and reach their own conclusions. I have a PR man persona who thinks he’s been developing an image when in fact others have formed their own image of me, the total being, which probably doesn’t come close to matching what the PR man’s been trying to promote.

This PR man effort needs to be squashed right away. It sprang from my feelings of failure at Rolla in 1958. Due to that catastrophe, and subsequent emotional response to it, it was felt necessary to promote an image of intelligence and savoir faire to offset the image of one who flunked out of school. Almost everything that has been said and done, has been is from this strategy.

It hasn’t been a total failure. The jobs I’ve had came out of it, the knowledge I’ve acquired and my gentle mien have likewise. The violent and aggressive personae have not been killed and surfaced from time to time. They were probably observed and noted by some.

That’s the truth of it. All aspects of one’s behavior are noted by others and opinions are formed. There is no controlling those opinions formed by others, it happens. So my efforts at developing an image have been for my own purposes and not others’ even though that’s what I wanted. I look around me now and I like what I see; house, yard, furnishings (largely Carola’s choices), electronics, records, capabilities, manners, clothes, habits, and even cars. “Seeing where I am and the direction I am heading, I feel good about me.”

The specter of others’ opinion, however, is real. Rejection, disapproval, failure to get a result, weighs heavily on me. There is an emotional reaction to these (and they can be any one or all of the above) that causes me a great deal of angst. My reactions are sometimes different but generally seem to fall/ or be guided by two sets of conditions. The first is —how much control do I/did I have on this outcome? The answer to this determines the follow on actions that I take. The second is—how clearly do I see / how capable am I to do what is necessary to achieve a favorable outcome. If I can see that, and have confidence that I can succeed in regaining the good graces, favor, and/or ameliorate the situation with those involved, I will formulate a plan and work at it. If not, I am more than likely to cut my losses and run/abandon the course of action.

There is also the relative importance of the desired end result. In instances where heroic effort was required to overcome a failure, and where the failure would be more devastating than work required to set it right, then I was willing to make that effort.

In all cases, those personae who think things through make an assessment of value—desired end result v. the chance/probability of success. They do the math and propose a course of action, go—nogo. When the decision made is nogo; the whole thing is abandoned w/o regret. When go; the work begins and is stubbornly pursued. Only exhaustion causes a reversal.

Long spans of lifetime have been spent salvaging failed attempts. I’d venture to say more than pursuing original ideas. But then original ideas not easily attained, or not seeing the work necessary to achieve them, are what led to the failures in the 1st place. So it is safe to say that some things take longer to achieve when knowledge and guidance are lacking.

I am at such a juncture now. I have this notion about acting. I am under the impression that I didn’t make the cut for As You Like It. Do I double down or walk away? Simple question—no answer. If I walk away, how far do I go; away from UofL, including my current class? IOW what else would I do? Still there is no answer.

There is a world of opportunity awaiting no matter what decision is made. I have a structure in place, i.e. UofL, Louisville, Rotary, endeavors, family, and me. How much of it do I retain? Which aspect do I emphasize? There are choices to select another/different structure, location, do I?

I was here in 1991, in this situation, on terminal leave from JICase. I made a decision to come to Louisville and open Executrain. It was an emotional decision that had less than spectacular results. Now would be a good time to sort through the events of these years; then until even now. Is there anything to be learned? There were other major junctures: 1958, 1963, 1969, 1991, 2000, and now. So, I have some work to do.

The Funeral of My Mother

Sunday August 23, 2009

Mom was buried on August 20th, next to my father's body and Sally's, over her parents' and brother Fred's. I haven’t written since so I will, about the funeral and events before and after.

People flew in and drove from Chicago IL, Atlanta, Clarkesville, and Decatur GA, Orlando,and Louisville. We all gathered Wednesday night at Yacovelli's for dinner. The family was there and we enjoyed the meal and each other’s company. I think Betty Jane and Linda were there as well as Ronnie to show support for Carola.

Then on Thursday there was the funeral. More distant family and friends were there. The visitation was in the back of Church just prior to mass, then the mass. There were eulogies at Mass. I made one based on Shakespeare and gave mom’s life seven ages: youngster, schoolgirl, professional woman, wife and mother, grandmother, care-giver, and matriarch. I ended it saying she now knows something the rest of us don't, what happens at death; and if there is a life hereafter, and I think there is, I’m sure she’s smiling down on these proceedings. Carola told a nice story, Maggie went through a litany of memories, and Jane said a few sentences.

Father Buhr, pastor at OLHC, gave a nice homily. He compared being born from a mother’s womb to life, to dying and being born to eternal life. Don K was particularly impressed with it, remarking about it later.

The entourage drove through English Grove in route to the cemetery, where there was a graveside service. The day was sunny and cool for August and I’m sure mom smiled down on it all.

Thence to Cristo’s where all who had a desire to do so ate lunch, my treat. There was enough cash left over in mom’s checking account to cover it and the extra funeral expenses. There were about 30 people there for lunch. A few others had eulogies to say at Cristo’s; JoeM and Freddie said some nice things about mom. John couldn’t find his voice in his grief nor could anyone else.

I sit here congratulating myself on my fine family and our ability to perform. I feel like the leader of it and that Carola and the kids have developed their skills on my example. When John married we did the Lina Family skit; when Don and Maggie married we roasted Maggie/and me; now at Mom’s funeral we also performed.

I haven’t gone into the detail that this funeral situation deserves. It may be the circumstances around mom’s death; it may be the kids being here, it may be that I’m discombobulated all around. I want to do and I want to idle. So far to do has conquered to idle.

I made my plans for the week and I have lots to do. Class starts on Tuesday and continues until Xmas. Rotary club meets on Tuesday, each week, auditions are Tuesday and Wednesday, Sean and Marykate are here and we could ride. We may have a second round playoff match on Wednesday evening, the French Conversation club meets on Thursday, the grass need cutting, and I have to shop at Sam’s. The Fair goes on all week and I’ll go after class at least on Tuesday if not Thursday as well. Maggie and I will play golf tomorrow and again on Wednesday. There are movies to watch and Sudoku to be played as well as a list of daily and weekly tasks to perform. I’m eschewing cooking but will probably end up doing it.

And here we are at the fundamental juncture once again. I have 15 years minimum of good, solid, productive, lifetime. Time in which/during which I could accomplish much development; could even transfigure. I am proceeding somewhat with acting; this is a natural for me. I can say my endeavors “what” for it: audition, learn lines, rehearse, perform, and see that process has to be followed for all the endeavors. My main objective is to develop my endeavors to levels that are appropriate.

I am sufficiently diffused that I will probably never be a guru, in my mind or in the mind of others. Yet I can see that just as G’s mirror reflects my faults as seen in others, others respond/respect me in direct proportion to how much they see me respecting myself. If I feel like a loser, others see me feeling as such and treat me accordingly. A person is treated by others the way they interpret how/what they see the person treating himself. And all the acting in the world cannot keep them from seeing it—sooner or later.

I get an A+ for the way I handled the funeral and me. If such can be a success, this was a resounding.

Before and After Mom's Death

The following several entries are from a notebook I use when outside or away. They are August 14, 16, and 17. They overlap a little with Blog entry 29, entitled Death, but I want to get it down herein.

Friday August 14, 2009

At least it isn’t Friday the 13th. As usual the primary thing on my mind is Mom’s condition. For yesterday and today she has tanked physically. She slept all day both days, at least so far today. I am at a loss for what to do. I’ve been wrong so many times in the past. It could be the end or it could be the lull that would be solved with an enema. I think to panic and call 911 would be a mistake. She is 100 years 8 months old and peacefully slipping away—or not. If she goes into a hospital, she will die, that’s my opinion. Who am I? I am the decision maker and will have to stand the heat if it comes on.

We have another complication, and for this one I made a call, i.e. a bedsore. She has a raw spot at the base of her spine right at the top of the skin fold of her butt. It is pretty bad. We found it this morning. Carola slathered it with ointment after cleaning it with hydrogen peroxide. I called the Dr’s office and got a tepid response although they usually come through.

I look at Mom; she’s sitting right here, and see s.o. who doesn’t want to go on. She’s expressed this time and again plus her whole attitude is saying the same thing. She slips in and out of being awake and not; when she awakens she continues her dream; wants to know if we’re up or down; are we going home; calls for Eddie; asks questions that are off the wall.

When I try to engage her, she rallies just slightly, then sinks back into oblivion. She isn’t eating, she had an egg and cereal for breakfast and I can’t get anything else into her.

Should I call Barbara? I’ll wait. They were here a while back and there isn't much, if anything they can do. They were here a just a short time ago. It is now past 5pm and I have to get going on supper although mom won’t eat anyway. I’m going to fix s.t. new. I usually write a lot more but there isn’t much more to say about this.

Sunday August 16, 2009

That fateful day came to pass yesterday. Mom died over the night of August 14/15. As I reflect on putting her to bed Friday evening, I recall her mien as that of one who simply couldn’t go any farther, she was finished. In my heart I knew it and was awake until 4am on a sort of vigil.

All the proprieties were handled yesterday and the body removed for embalming and transport to St. Louis, to be buried with all the appropriate rites of the RCC, next to that of her husband. It is the beginning of a new chapter in my and Carola’s lives. This is the purpose of this entry; what to do now? There is a philosophy, approach, strategy, to take/make/follow; it is to do s.t. and be careful not to get so deeply engaged in anything that you’re stuck. In an athletic sense, take it one game at a time but do play.

This next week will be taken up with details of the funeral, then Maggie will be here for a few days with Sean and Marykate, I don’t know about the others. Then next week there’s the KY state fair; a few visits there are always fun. After that school starts and auditions for a play. Then we’re into fall; football, school, and maybe rehearsals. Then the Holidays and reset for 2010.

Mom being gone takes away my anchor. It is as if we have been moored here for seven plus years and now the anchor is cut. The analogy works. The option to move was not considered because of the work and disruption entailed. We would only have done so if it was necessary/required/no other option available. Now that the anchor is gone—a dumpster, estate sale, house auction, and we’re out of here. It would behoove us not to be precipitous. OTOH it is wise to be open to possibilities. When someone as close as mom was to us is suddenly although not unexpectedly taken away, the popular wisdom is to wait a year before doing anything drastic. Well, I’d say a good long time if not a year. One could view this as an opportunity to make a change. My take on it is yes; it is that and care need be taken to assure that whatever changes made are desirable in the long term. So stay active and involved but not obligated. No long term debt that isn’t secured.

The economy is bottomed out; there is change in the air; there is a world out there and in here that begs to be seen/developed. Appetites are controlled/ even repressed, debts are current, schedules are open, dailies bespeak a desired mien, Carola is willing; I am capable, strong, and healthy. Get ready, get set, and go— where? Ah yes, it seems to come back to this each time the curtain opens. There is a stage and an audience but I don’t have a play.

Monday August 17, 2009

It’s time to sit and reflect. We’ve notified just about everyone we of whom we can think and I’m sure there are more. We will call as they come to mind.

I played with a guy I recognized, his name is Dave. I initiated conversation about mom’s death and how I felt that an anchor had been released. He didn’t offer anything but being able to talk about it with s.o. was good for me. I had 3 pars and a birdie for 9 holes.

When I called Charlie Eubank this a.m., I had a tough time of it. He is so solicitous and I am/was on the border line of breaking down in sobs. I may need that still.

I am keeping my own counsel about people and situations. I don’t know what to think about any of it. I want to be left alone with it; yet I want to talk about it. We made all the arrangements and are sticking to plan; one exception: when I found out that the obituaries would cost almost $800 I opted to change them to the $44 minimum insertion. In my heart I know that’s right, mom trained me well. I am deferring judgment on C’s sisters until after the funeral. Then I’ll decide.

Maggie will be here tomorrow with our distractions, Sean and Marykate, for several days. This will be fun and good. Then we start school but Carola could go to CA to help Theresa who is having it rough. I’m ok here now without having to care for mom. John, Shannon, and Kirsten will be at the funeral.

We got to StL on Wednesday a.m. The funeral is on Thursday. Depending on who attends a lunch afterwards, mom will treat, except the alcohol. I’ll bring Barb’s annuity; she’ll want that. For other matters I will call her and we’ll arrange a convenient time for them to come up; or not, it’s up to her.

Mom's Death

It’s six in the evening and I’m doing this to be doing something. I need to take my mind off of what happened here this morning and writing a blog is a good way to reconcile, accept, and get used to the idea that Mom is dead. Carola came in to awaken me at 10 a.m. saying that she thought Mom died; she was cold to the touch and there was no pulse or breath. I went back to her to check it out and that’s the way it was. I called 911 and reported it, saying there was no emergency that my mother died in her sleep; they sent people out right away.

Mom fell in the bathroom on June 24; her knee bothered her quite a bit so we took her to the emergency room at Baptist East, on Breckenridge and Kresge where they found a broken bone just below her knee. It was from then that she needed full support, wheel chair, potty chair, and to be lifted into bed; her power recliner was a god-send. We had a visiting nurse to make sure we were doing things correctly, a physical therapist to do likewise, and made three trips to the bone doctor to follow-up on her mending.

She was subdued for the first two weeks, and then began slipping mentally. She would call out for Eddie, her deceased husband, and more than once had conversations with people who weren’t visible to us. At one point, a few days ago she said, matter-of-factly, “I think I’m losing my mind.” One other time she said, “I’m blind, you know.” She became more and more reclusive even though we sat with her for long periods of time; talking to her but not getting much of a response. It was my custom to sit with her every night, even from before any of this happened, and watch Wheel of Fortune, then Jeopardy, then the O’Reilly Factor, and on Saturday night to watch the BBC programs, Last of the Summer Wine and Keeping Up Appearances. We continued this but she was less and less engaged, couldn’t see and had difficulty hearing. For the past several days, she would have her eyes open, mouth open, and face pointed upward to the ceiling.

On Wednesday, we had Dan, a physical therapist, come over to get her back on her legs; she was ok for that. When we came home on Thursday Angela, from Elder Care Professionals, was sitting with her, simply holding her hand; Mom was in that face-up position. It registered with me that we were in the end-time. On Friday she was almost completely non-responsive. I had to place her on the potty, which she used infrequently this day, and keep urging her to drink, eat, and stay awake.

In order to quantify the situation; I would say that she was 100% before June 24, then after an initial low period came back to 80% by the end of July, then on Wednesday she was 75%; Thursday 50% and Friday 20% in the morning, 10 % in the afternoon and 5% when she went to bed. I didn’t expect her to make it through the night. I was up until 4 a.m., couldn’t sleep, and checked on her often. I even said, “She hasn’t moved a muscle,” although she was breathing at 1 a.m.; then at four when I felt that I could finally go to sleep, I didn’t note her condition except that she hadn’t moved. Then Carola came in at 10 a.m. and awakened me.

The two EMS men that came were professional, thankfully they didn’t dwell on the event but talked about other things going on in their lives and filled in their report form on a pc. They left when Darrell Spurgeon, LMPD arrived, he got some details from them, did his report, showed us his I phone and generally waited with us until the Coroner’s office arrived. Rita Taylor, assistant coroner, originally from Florissant Missouri, came and did her examination of the body.

When she came out of the room she told us that Mom had suffered a heart attack, her hands and expression were relaxed so although it was severe enough to kill her it was not a painful death. She was most complimentary on the way we had taken care of her, what she saw in the house and her room. While she was here she dropped her pager and lost all the calls but was able to refresh them with the help of her dispatcher. She stayed with us until we were sure that the funeral service company was on the way.

So far there had been an EMS vehicle, a police car, and a coroner’s car here at different times but each overlapping the previous. Now there were none. Carola was able to get her hair appointment changed to now and she left. This left me here alone with Mom’s body for a while. It was ok with me; I made an entry into my daily log.

After a while, a white mini-hearse came into the driveway. Two people came to the door, a woman named Janet and a middle aged, sad looking fellow named Brad. They came in, expressed their condolences, and went in to look at the body. It was covered to the neck with the sheet and blanket Mom had used during the night, she almost looked alive. They weren’t hurried, brought in the gurney and, voila, it was too long to make the turn into the bedroom. They lifted the body enclosed in a white sheet, after stretching arms and legs to release the rigor mortis, and carried it to the gurney. They then covered it with a dark cloth, after asking me if it was ok, and out the front door it went, into the hearse and gone.

Now the house is empty. It feels strange, as does going back to Mom’s rooms and seeing that she’s gone. I feel sad; it was her time, she knew it, she went willingly into the void. Now she knows or it doesn't really matter.

Plotting and Scheming

A slightly different approach today; I am in the middle of my plotting and scheming in/on Performance Evolution, a workbook of 21 sheets, that covers my hopes and dreams for the year, my shortcomings, and my schedule for the week/year. This workbook is displayed on the screen at the same time as this blog is going on and I am going to keep notes in here as I make my plan for the week.

The starting point for a weekly plotting and scheming session is usually the Daily Deliverables sheet where I have listed the things that I do daily, almost daily, and Weekly Routines and Reminders. It always looks so easy when I set up this sheet, there is the week, there is plenty of time, there are the items I want to accomplish; why does it happen that there are some things that never get addressed/done? As I look at the sheet, the Daily Routine is set and usually always accomplished with one exception, i.e. French.

When I ask, IWWCI…, I can only respond that it takes a complete change of mind to accomplish this, reading and writing in French. It usually takes more time than I feel I have at the moment and I don’t do it. This is a matter of discipline and now that I am aware of it I will sans doute make the changes necessary to do just this, especially since I am enrolled in a French Theater class starting in two weeks.

There are items that I could have done this week with some resolve; riding, attending performances and social events, and playing pool competitively. It is a matter of taking the time, getting into the car, going there, and doing it. I spoke to Carola today. She is back at work at CVS, which is time off from momly duties, and I said that she could do TWF and I would do SMSa and we would both have off on Thursdays to do whatever, either together or individually. With this sort of schedule in place I can ride, play golf, go to play pool, or whatever? Since my classes will be on Tue and Thu, these will fit into my schedule above; it’s just that Thursday will be spent individually and not together. This poses no problem for me.

This opens up a lot of possibilities. Can I get fulfillment here? The city offers all of the amenities that are necessary for a good and wholesome life; golf courses, pool halls, university, hospital, libraries, arts, food –both eat in and dining out, shopping for whatever you want, digital infrastructure, and (I suspect) social contact as well. The extent to which I use all of these resources to my best advantage is up to me.

Of all, I seem to eschew the social contact more than any other. I am a loner in this regard. I don’t associate, at least not now; if I desired it, I would. This seems to be a recurring theme for me, decrying my lack of social involvement on more than a superficial level. I haven’t met those with whom I would take the time and trouble to develop a relationship. And apparently I am not seen as one others see as worthy of developing a relationship. This is probably quid pro quo; IOW they pick up my stand-offish signals and simply demur.

I have to say that most of the people with whom I have come into contact are phonies anyway and after I know them a little, I generally opt out of any further involvement. I like compartments, the pool crowd, the UofL theater arts crowd, the golf crowd, horse crowd, Rotary crowd, and the library crowd, the crowd from whom I buy, and I’m using the word crowd with great abandon. Bottom line is that I have many casual acquaintances, no friends. There are a few upon whom I could call in distress; thankfully they would respond if they possibly could. There are many that I could call to do s.t. and they may or may not refuse. This is a sticker for me; I simply won’t make the calls. I don’t think it’s the refusal, it’s the psychic energy it takes to make calls.

It is worth a few words to delve into this. Logic would tell me that there are many out there who would enjoy participating with me in one or more of my endeavors and are simply waiting to be asked. It is incumbent on me to make the calls. Now, I fully realize that there would be numerous refusals for every acceptance; this would indicate a list of sufficient length to get the acceptance and time to make the calls. It also seems that a reasonable advance notice would be necessary and that notice would depend on the activity ; e.g. golf, riding, or other individual daily activity may be just a day or two whereas an evening event would be several days, a week or even more depending on the scale of the event. Dinner out may be a few days, a play or game may be a few weeks. I am not used to working with this kind of order; this kind of regimen. I like to stay loose and decide now to do then, right after I get up from the chair.

This is definitely a problem for me. I don’t like to be tied down. If I don’t feel like doing this or that, I don’t want to feel that I must. This is why this whole area of my life is unsatisfactory. There are those of me who want to socialize, to be part of a process of enjoying life with others, be acquainted with others, enjoy others’ antics with or without criticism and then there are those in here who have been disappointed with the stupidity of other beings, who have been stood up, cheated, criticized, the target of gossip, embarrassed, and generally disappointed with the outcome of social contacts to the point that they simply don’t want the bother. The problem is me. And that is the source of whole ‘nother blog. It seems that I've struck a large rock as I dig my way through life.

Sometimes A Time Out Is Helpful

An interesting aspect of being on the right track is being sort of stuck. There are so many things that one can do within the framework of his current aim(s) that he can lose his ability to imagine other things that may be more desirable. Then there is the possibility of being distracted by other things and not pursuing aim. This would indicate that aim is not sufficiently well defined or envisioned and, therefore, easily distracted.

And yet there is another background sentiment in play, it is satiation. When one is sated at the moment with working on aim and not all that interested in pursuing more along the same lines, he begins to look around for other things to which to attend. This is sort of where I am at the moment, and I do mean moment because in a short time I will once again be working on aim due to the fact that I am aware of this distracted mode.

The distracted mode is what creeps in and displaces aim and it can take hold to the point that aim is sidetracked for an indefinite period of time. This sort of happened on Sunday when I began looking at the week ahead; it was prevented, however, because I have this outline of endeavors that reminds me of what I am trying to accomplish for the year both in terms of discrete accomplishments and in continuous activity. So, the distraction from aim was short lived and I have an aim for Rotary-After-Presidency that will not only give me what I am seeking in terms of Rotary but also a return trip ticket to Chantilly.

It is raining this morning and whenever it does so it causes an interruption in activity. My vantage points are outside the walls of the house, even when I don’t go there so when I can’t go there I tend to think in terms of being at a loss for s.t. to do. So it can be seen that distraction from aim has more than one source, more than one cause. Refocusing on aim is a good thing and possible because I have task lists that do just this very thing.

Taking advantage of interruptions such as rain can be productive. I observed previously that there are desirable things that are often forgotten. It is during this time of rain, or waiting for this or that, that one can revisit his reminder stacks and remind himself. This assures that one doesn’t get so caught up in working towards an interim aim that he loses sight of one that is important but not currently receiving attention. This would say that the being is distracted by the current task list and not watching where he’s going.

One morning on the way to work I looked down to adjust the headlights; while so distracted I rammed into the car in front of me and caused a lot of damage. It is a classical example of distraction. The same thing can happen when one is so focused on an aim related task that he lets an opportunity for progress on a different, more important aim, slip past with bad consequences as a result, or at minimum missing an opportunity.

In riding, people refer to “soft eyes” which is a way of saying staying in tune with what you are doing at hand but at the same time paying attention through peripheral vision to what is going on around you. This avoids collisions and other surprises. In daily pursuits one must also have soft eyes in order to take advantage of opportunities. Missed opportunities are just that, missed and perhaps never to reappear. As I sit here and write these words I may be missing opportunities; as I reflect here at home—same, as I get into the car and go somewhere—same. Any time one is engaged in an activity that requires concentrated effort he may be missing another opportunity.

So today I am going to spend some time on already defined tasks but also take some time to go through drawers, stacks, books, and notes in order to dig out some truffles of forgotten dreams. There is no telling what I will find because at the moment my mind is vacant of any such things. The time will pass, I may or may not be successful in finding anything. This will disappoint me but at the same time, because I am prescribing this effort it will not be considered as wasted. Just like watching the “As You Like It” video yesterday could have been considered a colossal waste of time but wasn’t because I finally know the story and the characters, one of whom I will be playing.

(I just erased 355 words of anti-cell phone diatribe and now I’m at a loss for words to continue this entry. I will, however, mush on.)

There are two ways of handling the things of which one is reminded and it all depends on the significance of the item. If it is small and lesser, one can handle it immediately. This is exemplified by ordering s.t. from EBay or another on-line store. You think about it, sign on and do it if you can. There are many such and my rule of thumb is if it takes 10 minutes or less, go ahead and take care of it now. “Doing it now, I am determined.” But there are other things that are much more involved and require time and coordination with others. It is these that one has to keep in mind, enter as part of his planning strategy, make a part of an endeavor without inventing new.

It is important, I think, to keep the list of goals set at the beginning of the annual planning period. They may be replaced by others, they may be accomplished early and no longer be relevant but they should be listed just the same. It would have been easy to abandon the Chantilly visit but now it is an integral part of two endeavors.