My Five Way Test

“Call people to ‘do’ with me.” This is a statement from my task list and it came from my weekly planning session. I put this out there a long time ago and continue to bob and weave, duck and parry and not do it.

I even took the strategy of going for the “no” but that too fell through. And yet there are lots of things that I do with others, just that I don’t make the call. Most of what I do relates to errands, visits to haunts such as the library, Kroger, Sam’s or some other shopping destination. You know from reading previous entries that I am a buyer and not a seller. Yet when I want something, I ask for it; to wit, I asked CarolR if she needed a horse exercised and that wasn’t a buy. So I make the call when it is appropriate to do so.

In class I remain apart because I am the ultimate in different. I am 70 and they are 20; most of what is said and done simply doesn’t interest me and I can tell I don’t interest them either. There are polite conversations and I usually start them but that is the extent of it; there is no out of class contact, nor should there be. Except at the SAC in the pool room where there I have somewhat of a gunslinger image; I am the guy to play and beat, if you can. And yet there is no out of the SAC contact either, nor should there be. So the UofL situation is as it should be; I am there for the lessons and the pool, not to build acquaintances.

It begs the question, should I be in other “target rich” environments where I can seek out and maintain some social contact. Well, I am in the Rotary Club and that is an opportunity. We, Carola and I, take advantage of the oppys and generally participate whenever we can. But here again, there is no ongoing, outside the meeting socializing that goes on.

Could it be that I just don’t have the necessary imagination to come up with things to do that might include another/others? Oh, I can think of things but my heart isn’t in them and, therefore, they don’t get followed to conclusion. This explains a long time fascination with being in sales. I say fascination because I never really followed up on that either. It becomes no fun; too much like work.

This leads to a suspicion that I may be a bit misanthropic. My experience with people has been disappointing to say the least. There have been some short term friendships that didn’t stand the test of envy and even outright jealousy. In some cases it was me and in others it was they. The better people got/get to know me the less they enjoy my company and vice versa.

There are some who try to manage their contacts but that falls through the crack 99.9/100 and the same thing is true the time or two that I tried to manage mine. It just doesn’t work out, at least for me and most that I know.

I made up a whole series of postulants about his whole thing and they are pretty much true.

GUIDELINES FOR BUSINESS SITUATIONS

Policy: Remember, without exception, the people that you are dealing with are not your friends. They are sensitive, selfish people looking out for their own interests. The guise of friendship makes it easier to talk to someone and reach an understanding but it should never be mistaken for friendship or willingness to give and take. It is always to get more in return. Accomplish all of the above in a friendly, enthusiastic, and positive way; regardless of the wording, it isn’t meant to be mean spirited or harsh.

The Five Way Test:
1) Will handling of this request take me toward my stated purpose?
2) Is it the truth?
3) Is it fair to all concerned, especially my family, my company, and me?
4) Will it build goodwill and friendships, and not be resented afterwards?
5) Will it be beneficial to all concerned, the other parties and my family, my company and me?

Guidelines:
1) My first task in making any contact is to objectively establish the reason.
2) This is not a friend. Conclude nothing about the other, find out.
3) Think through agreements and commitments. Examine my motives for agreeing and committing.
4) Be willing to accept not reaching closure. Don’t agree to anything. Can I deliver? Question it. Analyze it from a common sense and a financial point of view. Don’t agree because it is an easy way out.
5) Does it fit easily and profitably into my plan? Working towards my desired business goals is the objective. Meeting an expectation of harmony, compliance, and consideration is not the objective.
6) My reputation will improve as long as my business goals are ethical and my product performs to spec, the “feelings” of those involved are not to be considered.
Once agreement is made, deliver on time with positive attitude and comments. Take delivery on time, even demand it. This means agreed upon goods, services, or payment.

I made these up a long time ago after realizing them. IOW, this is how it works in business; in my experience it works this way all the time even up until now. There are people out there who have deceived me and I don’t have anything to do with them. There are those who have promised and not delivered after taking delivery and I don’t have anything to do with them. In fact, I do my best to live up to the above and I hold others to these standards. One has to realize that there is nothing deceptive about being objective. Arguments to the contrary are emotional reactions and we have verified that these are irrational and need to be recognized as same.