Animals Don't Do It

Animals with which I have interacted have demonstrated over and over again that they have many of the same attributes as humans but, due to physical constraints, size, or some other attribute we don't share, they are not quite up to a par with us.  Our hands and our rather well developed imagination are probably the major differences.

One major difference, apparent to me, is that they almost always accept the situation in which they find themselves, i.e., they are not judgmental unless the situation is seen to be life threatening. They seem to accept the circumstances in which they find themselves and go from there.

They do, however, make decisions about what they are going to do next based on those circumstances,  It is usually related to satisfying some need related to their previous experiences, safety, nutrition, procreation, need for affection, acceptance, or avoiding pain to name a few.

We, on the other hand, form opinions of almost everyone and everything we encounter; whatever the situation in which we find ourselves.  We judge: the weather, the relative comfort of our surroundings, the way we hear others speak, the quality of the performance of the doer, actor, speaker, dancer, or even the newscaster  and weather person.  Understanding that evaluation with the intention of improving is more than acceptable but necessary if we are to make progress, the subject here is one without the other.

Then to make matters even more silly, we seem to feel that we have to share that opinion with whom so ever is nearby, friend or even stranger.  If they are within earshot we let them know how we feel about it.

This is the source of many of the problems that we have with others.  It spawns road rage, hard feelings, hurt feelings, and puts us in a mood that is not conducive to being a desirable companion.

Aware of all this, I experimented with (1) not judging the situation in which I found myself and (2) avoiding expressing a positive or negative opinion of anything.  It turned out to be a lot harder than I thought it would be.

The first hurdle I had to get over was judging me; my looks, appearance, clothes, voice, attitude, and actions/inaction.  I wrapped my index finger around the tip of my thumb and tugged it, sort of like the cricket the nuns used in church, whenever I was aware that I was making an opinion, spoken or not.  It was a lot more difficult than I imagined.

The next hurdle was accepting others who were voicing opinions, making judgements, about whatever.  My thumb was getting sore from the tugging.

I began to notice that there was a fine line between making a judgement and making an objective evaluation upon which to base a decision or act.  When a horse, a jumper, stops or runs out on a jump; one need not look at the horse for an error.  The horse made an objective evaluation of the situation and or whatever reason, usually something the rider did or didn't do, decided to avoid the obstacle.  We, of course, also do a lot of this.  We also, however, get caught in making superfluous opinions on just about everything.

There are several industries that are based on this.  One of them is the tabloids that print all sorts of salacious accounts that fuel opinions about celebrities. Another is cable news networks that provide opinions for our consideration about the actions of our elected and appointed officials be they political or in some other vein, such as sports.  These, and spectator sports in general, pander to those who need opinions because they don't have the objective knowledge necessary to form their own.

Meanwhile, I've had to switch thumbs occasionally because I found myself overworking one or the other.  It has, however, made me aware of my opinion based thinking and I'd like to say that I've taken a more cross country horse-like approach to life.  In competition the horse does not see the cross country course or the stadium jumping arena before the competition.  He has to take it "in stride" and complete it, guided only by his rider.

Living like this has given me a whole different perspective, much more calm, much less fretful, less worried about tomorrow.  It is because of this that I pass along these thoughts to anyone interested.

Noticing the instances of being judgmental was only the first step in the process.  In order to be successful, one has to change the way he thinks.  The next step was to replace the judgmental thought with an accepting thought.  This was much more difficult.

The final stage would be to, one day, note that one is being accepting and not judgmental without even being aware of it. This pretty much describes the alteration of any bad habit with a more desirable one or none.

Animals have few, if any, expectations about outcomes to situations.  Yet this is where we often lose our perspective about a situation.

We have expectations in almost all situations.  We seem to have a great deal of difficulty dealing with unmet expectations and we express a whole spectrum of negative emotions when they are not met.

Golf, anyone whose played it knows of what I speak, is a game of unmet expectations.  We set up the shot, envision it, see the distance, the slope, the terrain between us and the target.  We set our stance, hands, and body, all with the expectation that the shot will be true.  Voila, it isn't and we are disappointed and that's putting it mildly.

This same thing is true in traffic.  We expect a certain flow, that others will abide by the rules, that our right of way will be respected.  Voila, it isn't and we are disappointed and that's putting it mildly.

It also comes into play when dealing with others.  We expect to get our way, that what we think is what's right and that they will be agreeable.  Voila, they aren't and we are disappointed and that is putting it mildly.

The thought I'm describing is complex; it's more than acceptance, it's being willing to admit that our expectations are not necessarily going to be met and we need to be alright with that.

Managing expectations requires forethought but often life situations don't allow time for it.  The goal of objectivity is that for which we should strive.  "Realizing that emotional reactions are irrational, I respond more objectively." One of my aphorisms, a holy grail.

This has turned into a rather long essay, about 1,200 words but almost all necessary to express the thought.