Peace of Mind

The hero frequently encounters almost insurmountable barriers that must be overcome on the mythological path upon which he sets out  to reach the awaiting maiden in her father’s castle.  Often they take the form of a fire breathing dragon or an ogre giant.  He has to cross chasms and swollen rivers, fight off fierce opponents, and perform one final heroic task before being successful. 

Life is that mythological path, the accumulation of skills necessary to reach a permanent state of being.  This is the aim of our lifetime, that which is set out to be accomplished.

It occurred to me that pushing my comfort zone is what evokes the overzealous internal judge and critic in me because it is I who has had a strict judge and harsh critic impressed upon him.  Decisions made to move onward and upward feed into them but it is only during the pushing of the envelope and not when the skill has been assimilated and performance is in the Skilled quadrant. 

The following Performance Paradox 2x2 illustrates the point:

The judge and critic are very active all during the Training and Intern phases but when Skilled is reached they abate because performance occurs without it being necessary for Observing I to be aware of it.

Peace of mind may be achieved earlier if one is aware of what’s happening inside one’s head and discounts the internal comments and criticisms.  The importance of maintaining a favorable attitude, of being oblivious to one’s image, of remembering past accomplishments, of being certain of aim, of maintaining relationships, and dwelling on what is happening now cannot be overstated.

The performer rehearses, learns lines, and makes what seems to be frustratingly slow progress until, voila, one day he emotes according to the blocking and the script and carries away the audience with his performance; he convincingly becomes the character.

The player practices his shots and keeps missing until one day he doesn't miss any more.

In between there are the false starts of almost knowing only to have a miscue or a missed shot pop up and open the door to discouragement.  When this happens after the performer/player has reached the top of the learning curve, he can take it in stride, the judge and critic don’t comment.  If it happens before the confidence hump has been crossed, the player/performer may suffer setbacks in his progress.   This is when he has to call upon his base of past accomplishments, current direction, and current relationships to rally to go on.

From where or how is the strict judge and harsh critic developed?  It occurs when a sensitive child is criticized by adults in superior positions.  This can be a parent, teacher, pastor, or even a neighbor but it has to happen frequently and consistently for some period of time.  The impressionable youth is galvanized into judging himself to be inferior and criticizing his performance as being less than acceptable.

The judgment and criticism may seem benign, even necessary by the adult providing them but the result is the over development of an internal judge and critic who feed on the less than perfect performance of a neophyte.   It only abates when the desired skill is either abandoned or attained.  All too often it is abandoned when the pain of trying to achieve is too much to bear.

It isn't the occasional or infrequent judgment and criticism but constant nagging that finally causes frustration and a feeling of futility to be engendered in the subject.  And unfortunately, it cannot be reversed by praise and support.

All have judge and critic; they are essential and act as the arbiters of performance and in cases of morals and ethics they are sometimes called conscience.  The subject of this writing is the strict judge and harsh critic; these can range from being a big nuisance to pathological.

Once the internal judge and critic are established, they last a lifetime.  This is why it is so important to rationalize the existence of them and work through the tough times and get to the “skilled” level in spite of them.

The only alternative is to give up development in favor of vicariously enjoying life through imagination.  The imagined great things that could have been; the imagined shared success of heroes in performances or athletics, the imagined transformation of what one actually does to what one would like to have happen. 

If you’re like me, you have suffered the slings and arrows of the strict judge and harsh critic.  If you have likewise invested the time and psychic energy into figuring it out, you will have reached the same or similar conclusions about what to do about it.

Develop a sense of humor; it is absolutely essential, especially when dealing with the self.  And be reminded to take yourself and anyone else less seriously. It’s difficult but when accomplished successfully the benefits are worth the effort.  

Whither 2012 and On

Continuing with thinking about “The Wisdom of Dreams,” it follows that in order to dream about having something more than or different from what one currently is experiencing, one has to at least verbalize that dream.  Our minds communicate internally using language so in order for all the pertinent personae to be able to work towards the attainment of a Dream thoughts have to be transmitted to them; for this we use language as the basic means.

There are other means.  Since we experience environment through the five senses, then all of these can be, and should be used to qualify the dream so it can be understood by all.  Then there are the esoteric sources of Aim/Dream that have a great deal of influence on what we do; these are understood by a very few but available to all.

These means are beyond the scope of my understanding at the moment but are, however, understood to exist. Since they are neither rational nor sensual they may well be termed Spiritual, i.e., coming from sources that are not physical.  Some that come to mind are: influences from Universal Consciousness into which we tap from time to time and those that Master brings from past experiences that he wants to complete or experience again at a different level.

 These spiritual Aims are not necessarily verbalized nor sensed in any way but exist and their presence is evident from acts that seem random; efforts that take place but are not reasonably intended, places in which we find ourselves but have no reason for being, people we encounter in the course of events seemingly accidently, people to whom we are attracted, things to which we tend without rational intention.

There is little rational control over these Aims, they will be pursued in this lifetime or the next and so on; but pursued they will be until permanency is attained. When that happens, there is no longer a need for a physical presence to pursue aim and the Being moves on but to where, there is no clue. 

If one can accept that there is a Master inside this Brain-body that is bound to it but at the same time apart from it, then one is better able to understand the previous paragraph.  Meanwhile, in order to keep this Brain-body interested in the events of this lifetime, attempts need to be made to discover the esoteric Aim and work towards achieving it as the Brain-body verbalizes its own Dreams/ Aims.

As long as these are not in conflict with those of Master there is no dissonance and these Dreams/Aims can be pursued without causing angst.  It has been my experience that when pursuing s.t. that was later seen in conflict with the Aim of Master, all sorts of physical and emotional issues arose until it was abandoned and once again peace and harmony descended upon the Brain-body.  This could be confused with conscience but it is somewhat more than that.

This leads to the conclusion that one can do whatever he wants as long as it is not at cross-purposes with the Aim of Master.  Much of what we want and wind up doing may come from past life experiences where we participated in some activity/endeavor and it was pleasant and enjoyable and now those previous experiences are sought once again.  These can explain why we live in this or that location, this or that house, enjoy visiting this or that location, reading about this or that previous set of events, doing this or that activity, and/or having this or that possession.

Concurrency exists among the Master, past lifetimes, and the current lifetime as long as there is no major antimony of Aims.  A way to assure this harmony is to examine those Dreams/Aims that we can verbalize and make reasonable assurance that they are in harmony with the current status of the Brain-body.

A way to do this is to take the Planning Categories, Life Categories, and Traits and Features that are used and make a determination of how well satisfied one is with the current state of affairs; reaffirm this dream or change it to one that more completely, more appropriately leads one to where he would like to be or go.

In order to make this analysis, a sheet has been added to Planning Evolution that is an examination of each of these, starting with where I thought it would be now but made at the end of 2011; state whether to keep on this track or not; If not, to what would it change; if yes, what meaningful change is indicated; then assess the degree of desire and the degree of effort for achieving it.

The planning time is from the solstice to the New Year but this analysis may precede that by some weeks because it will take time and more than one pass to make it meaningful.  It stands to reason that planning for the year can only take place after these dreams/aims are put in place.

Concurrent with this effort is a similar examination of the twenty endeavors that allow one to choose from a variety of options that he would do right here, right now; while waiting.  The idea behind this would be to abandon any endeavor that is no longer desirable and replace it with another that may be more so.

It is often more convenient to stay with s.t. that is obsolete than make the changes necessary to embrace s.t. new.  I can tell that French and Sketching are two to which too little time is given but I don’t know what would take their place.  That is the point of making this analysis, is there s.t. else that would be more happily pursued than ignored and avoided?

Some endeavors are necessities, such as End Game, Financial, Fitness, Physical, and Yard and House, but all the others are “on the table” because examination and verification are the only way that one can be assured of moving towards what he wants.

The Wisdom of Dreaming

It’s the fourth day of November and we just adjusted the clocks for standard time; that always conjures up an image of things coming to an end, the season being over, the cycle at its apogee.   It seems that way because we are in the closing months of the year,  the days are getting shorter, the sun is lower in the sky, the daily temperatures are getting lower, trees have lost their leaves, plants are going dormant or dying.  It evokes a frame of mind, the end of a cycle.

Yet we must recall that it is indeed a cycle and that this is neither an end nor a beginning but a natural progression of the passing of the present.  The game analogy doesn't fit because the game (life) isn't over, it isn’t finished,  the final reckoning hasn't taken place but it goes on and in a larger sense the cycle is eternal.

As I sit here and write this I am forcing myself to examine a process that I put in place about the time we went to Houston in 1985.  It consisted of making plans and setting goals on an annual basis and looking at it weekly to formulate objectives that would move toward the accomplishment of the larger annual goals.

It has been successful and after 25 or more years I can say it with confidence.  And yet one has to ask, to what degree has it been successful?  When one looks at an absolute scale of accomplishment, one can say that much more could have been done, more accomplishments, more fame, more fortune, more, more, more.  It is safe to say that what limits this one is his thinking.

The important realization that is being experienced here and now is that there is no end of the year.  There is no time limit set on what one wants to accomplish except those set by regulation and agreement with others, such as performance dates, tax reporting, license renewals, and start and end times of various events.

Our dreams, as we establish and pursue them, are a personal matter and not a matter of Goals, Objectives, Tasks, and the performance thereof; that comes later.  Rather they are stated desired end results  that become so well understood by the complete being that any and all pertinent personae are aware of them and working on them all the time.

We are part of the universal consciousness, which is collectively all of organized life, and things happen for us because we are tapped into it.  The clearer the dream, the more easily it is realized because we are more receptive to prompts from this universal consciousness. 

This phenomenon has been postulated as “The Secret” and the adherents of that as the complete answer would have one rely totally on concentration on dreams as the means of realizing them.  There are many examples of this and they are powerful endorsements of this concept. 

The setting of goals according to dreams, then plans and strategies to accomplish them is a cognitive process that adds to the probability of realizing dreams.  It is not, however, the only process that is in play.  There are other activities going on all around us that are also working toward the achievement of dreams.

Yet I look at the Ohio River and I can dream and concentrate from now on and there will never be a bridge over it.  The bridge comes when the dream is quantified, planned, and a viable strategy is put in place to accomplish it.  The same is true of individual dreams.  Universal consciousness may present opportunities for realizing them but the individual still has to do the work.

For dreams that don’t require quantification, that don’t require others to be involved on a conscious and rational basis, that are more of “state of being” rather than tangible results, they can be realized without an objective planning method.  As I look back on statements made over the years, it is obvious that I achieved that dream and went on, or achieved it and continue to enjoy it, or am still working to achieve it.  Then there are many more dreams that were achieved by setting specific goals, objectives, tasks, and accomplishing them according to some timetable.

While it is reaffirmed that there is no end of year in the cycle of life, it is still a good framework for reaffirming dreams and planning.  It must, however, be tempered with some judgment; such as staying open to opportunities that come one’s way and not be hidebound by statements made up to twelve months ago.

Such a framework also provides the basis for adjudging opportunities and the changes they may represent.  Without a well-constructed plan based on dreams and desires one could begin to meander through life with a new set of dreams and goals every other day.  When one has the aforementioned framework in place and is presented with what would seem to be a dramatic change of plan, one can quickly assess the possibilities that it represents and either embrace or refuse it.

Staying busy while waiting for opportunity to knock is also important.  It is to this end that one can develop a set of endeavors to be pursued; I have eighteen of them and they provide more than enough opportunity to be involved in doing something constructive as the present passes.  The only caveat that is necessary is that the priority of endeavors be maintained and Acting and Writing are more important than the others; in other words playing pool instead of going to rehearsal is not acceptable.

This has been a good exercise in examining what was considered to be ipso facto. Yet when questioned it came apart then back together again reaffirming what has been the practice but with some improvement.  The year is not the same as a game with a beginning and end of play but a continuing saga.  The realization of the pragmatic truth of realizing dreams; that a planning period is useful for reminding one of what he has set out to do and also be reminded to be flexible to embrace opportunities that arise.

While You Wait

I always seem to be waiting for some future event but what I am doing now, as  I wait, makes all the difference.  In the grand scheme of things, we are all waiting to die; even if that thought is morose, it is true.  The one life event that we cannot escape is the death of this living organism we call our body.  And what we do while we are waiting for that to happen is what makes life interesting.

I’ve been to Medicaid facilities that provide minimal space and care to those who cannot afford anything better.  These places are the last stop on the way out for a lot of people.  It seems that once ensconced in one there is no getting out.  One has to be destitute to get in, so how can one get out.  Many of these people are quite literally sitting around waiting to die.  They gaze disinterestedly at a TV screen, or simply sit there and look at whatever passes into their field of view.  They aren’t doing much of anything more than waiting—to die.

This can be thought of as an extreme but is it?  How many others are sitting around in their houses, apartments, trailers, or rooms and pass the time of day in a distracted way watching whatever comes into view, mostly daytime television programs.  But these and others, me included, spend a lot of their time distracted from their lifetime aim.

If one were to answer the question, “What are you doing?” by saying, “I am working on aim,” he/she would know that they are participating in life and living and progressing towards achievement of that aim.  To be able to honestly state this as the answer to the question is far from an easy thing to do.  It requires that one know what his/her aim is and then that he/she be able to select activities that are consistent with achieving it.

One of the features of a large organization is the departmentalization of activities that allow a worker to do that specific thing that fulfills his role.  All resources are provided for him and it is up to him to get the required results that fulfill his purpose.  Organizations evolve, what was a required role ten years ago may no longer be appropo to the current requirements.  But specialization (departmentalization) continues to be the way large organizations operate to achieve whatever results they require.

It can be argued that the organizational model reflect the way beings are structured.  IOW, we are departmentalized in order to achieve aim.  There are many activities that the body performs as it lives that are specialized; even some of these are further subdivided into even more specialized activities.

Think of digestion for example; a large quantity of material is ingested during the course of a day-week-month-year-lifetime, all of it is masticated, mixed with saliva, swallowed, passed into the stomach, dissolved, passed into the intestines, metabolized into useful compounds on a molecular level, made available to where it is needed, traded for used, damaged, or useless molecules, which are then carried away.  I don’t even know what I’m writing about except that it is a huge, highly specialized activity that goes on constantly throughout the life of the body and one that does not require the concern of the “active” part of the mind, except to select what to ingest.  This same thing is true for other bodily activities, all with the express purpose of allowing the being to work on s.t. else; ideally to work on aim. 

The nature of the organization of the brain-body goes beyond the support of the physical functions.  The many personae that are part of the being also have desires and aims that may or may not be consistent with other personae in the being.

A gross example is those personae in the sexual center that have the ultimate aim of procreating and reproducing the species.  There are times that needs of these personae become so urgent that other, more important needs of the being are put aside.  This phenomenon occurs not only in the context of the sexual center but also among the other centers as well.

There is always the danger that an activity to satisfy appetites, i.e. physical gratification, takes precedence over those that tend to achieve lifetime aim.  It takes a strong true “I” to deal with these.  It is only the strength of the desire of the true “I” of the being to achieve the aim of the lifetime that rescues the being from perdition.  

Other aims of personae that comprise the being are there for the doing.  It can only be hoped that having done them will advance the being towards his aim of this lifetime.

There are also many subordinate aims that can be selected for work.  My endeavors, for example, each has an aim, a reason for being pursued and writing this blog is one example; it is not necessarily my ultimate aim but certainly an aim worth pursuing.  Working on these other aims can result in strengthening the ability of the being to achieve lifetime aim.  Work on lifetime aim can be accomplished in the background while working on subordinate aims is carried out by those personae in the driver's seat.  

"Sunday, Sweet Sunday..."

Seldom do programs, plays, or movies resonate with me to such an extent that time is spent dwelling on them but once in a while one seeps through.  This is the case with a recently viewed episode of the Andy Griffith show from 1962, reinforced by comments made by Deanna O’Daniel in her memoirs of life growing up in Louisville and environs.  That which comes to mind is the concept of a day of rest, when all things are closed and people do nothing except relax from the weekly schedule.

One can say that I am only on that schedule that I impose upon myself but lately I am seeing more of my time being allocated to obligations of one kind or another.  For example, starting last week I joined the cast of a play that rehearses on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, the Whodunnit rehearsals will overlap with this and go on until performances in November and December, Stage Movement classes are on Tuesdays and Thursdays,  my pool teams compete on Tuesdays and Thursdays, Saturdays are for riding, golf on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, deliver meals on every third Thursday, Rotary Club meetings on Tuesday mornings,  and spend time as necessary as Community Services chairperson.  In addition to these there is time that must be spent learning lines and songs for current productions and other chores.  And just now I agreed to work in the lobby for the current Whodunnit production.  Maybe this is why the concept of a day of rest is rising to the surface. 

The day of rest is meant to be a time that the brain is allowed to regroup and restore some sense of calm to the being and it requires a certain discipline of its own to accomplish.  The description provided by Deanna O’Daniel, the AGS, and my memory of Sundays at home from 1940 to 1960 is consistent. 

One goes to church in the morning after a breakfast of coffee cake and coffee, comes home to read the Sunday paper, eats a large noon meal together at the table, then cleans up the mess, and simply sits around the rest of the day.  Usually mom would lie down across the bed, pop would lie on the sofa in the living room, Barbara and I listened to Sam Spade, The Shadow, and Gangbusters detective stories on the radio from time to time later on Sunday afternoon, otherwise we did nothing in particular.  the evening  supper, was usually very simple, hot dogs, sausages, or lunch meat, potato salad or maybe pork and beans, and tomatoes.  We rarely had company.  Then after supper or even during, we’d listen to the radio for the Jack Benny Show.  I think it came on at 6pm central time there in Saint Louis.  This was the routine except for the many Sundays we went to Troy but even there the routine was very similar.

There is biblical reference to a day of rest and it has been adopted by religions throughout the centuries.  The concept may have been around for a lot longer than recorded history, we don’t know.  It is certainly commonsensical to take a day of rest and seven days is a good enough interval in between.  It almost makes me wonder if there isn’t some sort of psychological reason for it.

We sleep several hours every day and this was brought about by the light-dark cycle of the day but even this sleep phenomenon is deeper than simply being in the dark and waiting for daylight.  All day long the brain is besieged by situations that have to be handled and it winds up a little jumbled up after a while.  “So everyday along about evening, when the sunlight’s beginning to fail…” we are overcome, eventually, by fatigue that is both mental and perhaps physical. 

Rest and even sleep is necessary for the maintenance work required on the body and the brain.  I’ve dealt with sleep in previous writing and won’t go into it here.  Suffice it to say that not all of the brain-body goes dormant during first state; there are many facets of it that work in the background to rejuvenate the being.

It stands to reason that there may be situations that transcend the daily wake-sleep cycle and these are reconciled by the day of rest.  It is important to  follow this idea by being involved in some activity that is completely abnormal, has little or no stress involved with it, and resist the temptation to get involved with activities that are taken up during rest of the week.

The timing of once a week is interesting.  Did we evolve into it after we decided to measure time by seven-day periods or did we start using weeks after it was innately discovered that the brain-body needed a day of rest in addition to several hours of sleep every day?  There is a lot of conjecture about how the seven-day week was adopted; the upshot is that it fits nicely in almost all aspects of our understanding of life and living.  Ancients had five visible planets plus the sun and the moon, the number seven is special in almost all mythology, and it fits our personal needs if we let it.

The concept of a day of rest, for me now at this time of my life, is an emphasis of the other side of that coin.  One day of rest and six days of activities, working on Aim.  It would be too easy to allow myself to have several days of rest during the week and not work on Aim.

The conclusion to which I am coming is that a day of rest is as necessary as is a night of sleep but only if one’s days are taken up with obligations which impose some form or other of stress.  It should be noted here that stress build-up is a personal thing and not to be judged by anyone else.  Some people are able to cope with incredible situations and keep a perspective while others get overwhelmed by seemingly minor issues.  Only the bearer of stress can know the extent of concern that exists.  A day of rest allows the mind to reset itself.  A day of rest opens six to activity.

The Secret

Everybody wants to know the secret; it is the answer to our prayers, the way to get the skill, riches, awards, medals, and stardom that we crave; The Secret is also the title of a DVD that is devoted to getting what you want.  I watched it and came away with mixed feelings.

The prescription is not new to me, it is s.t. to which I was exposed in my youth when my dad gave me the seven little red books and it has been repeated often in my experience with reading and listening to various motivational people.  Yet listening to it again was a sort of reaffirmation of the phenomenon.

A disturbing aspect of watching the movie is coming away with the feeling that there is something lacking in me and I want to explore that here.  Nothing could be farther from reality and yet this is a common reaction that I have whenever I hear or listen to someone who has made it big.  What’s wrong with me that I’m not equally successful?  It seems that I have a modicum of success when others have an abundance of it.   This is a defect in my thinking. 

The reminder in the movie to “count your blessings” is an aspect of the whole philosophy of which I could do a lot more.  I tend to focus on the half empty instead of the half full; tend to look as what has to be done instead of what has been accomplished, tend to get discouraged when I realize that I’m not there yet; tend to jump off the train before it reaches its destination.  I could recount actions that I’ve taken in my lifetime that would be examples of each of the above and there are more than one of each.

All of these are pitfalls to the success mentality.  So I’m making a resolution that from this time now and on I will practice the opposite of all of the above.  I’ll be looking for the good, the success, the accomplishment, the small improvement in performance that is made—and there is always a positive aspect to be observed.

Then there is the lack of associations that I continue to decry; another change that has to be made in my thinking.  When I reflect on my associations I can see that I have sufficient to get the help, advice, assistance, and company to do whatever.  For every one of my endeavors for which an association is appropriate, there are some.   The focus of my thinking has to be on the appreciation of those associations and encourage them.

Then there’s the jealousy factor whenever I am involved in s.t.  I am putting it down here because it has been a factor in the past.  I found myself being sensitive to others taking credit for my efforts; horning in on my territory, using association with me to feather their nest at, what I saw as, my expense.

This comes from the desire for recognition and it is totally bogus.  If I am doing s.t for recognition, it is being done for the wrong reason.  I have recognized this and now tend to do things to make a good “recital” and not bragging rights.  And the good recital is for my benefit and not that of others except that they not feel uncomfortable watching or listening.

The lesson of recognition came home during the past few months.  I was recognized by the French government with the Order of Merit and by my Rotary Club as Rotarian of the Year.  Neither of these was the result of a conscious effort on my part except to work hard at the jobs I had.

One could delve into past situations and performance to hammer home the ideas set out above but that would be counterproductive at the very best.  I am here, I want to be there.  Recognizing the changes in my thinking and making them will certainly help me get there.

Repeating them here for my own benefit:

1) Know specifically what I want including a willingness to work for it

2) Concentrate on the good things that I already have

3) See the positive aspect of any and all that I do

4) Appreciate and be sensitive to the associations that I have

5) Work for the greater good, not for recognition

There was another aspect that was brought out by the movie; it is emotional involvement in the pursuit of aim.  It is reported here but only to recognize it as part of the picture.  The emotional involvement is the enjoyment of the prospect of working on aim with the added thought that when objective aim is consistent with the development aim of Master there is a fundamental resonance that enables one to experience joy.

Who Will Do for Me

A thought haunts me and I’m not sure how it’s going to pan out when it gets into writing because a conclusion hasn’t been reached about it, just a thought.  So the writing will be a way of thinking about it and, who knows, some conclusion may be reached after a while at this keyboard.

I’ve written about waiting and this is a related thought, or topic; well it has to be a thought because it doesn’t have a name yet so it can’t quite be a topic, it relates to having nil to do.  When all that has been listed is done what’s next?  But it is an even broader sense of this about which I want to write.

Suppose one was to have enough resources at his disposal to hire someone to do all the mundane work that he normally does, all of the little things that take up his time and thought; what would he do with the time that was now available? 

Starting with getting up in the morning one would have to take care of grooming and dressing himself but where would it go from there?  It could be that the meals were prepared by s.o. else and ready to eat; the log would have to be written personally, as would reading the current book, the bit of French reading, and chiro stretches but once those few chores were out of the way?

If one were to arise at a reasonably early hour, say seven o’clock, the minimal chores would be complete within forty-five minutes or so.  That would mean that from eight o’clock until eleven p.m. there would be no prescribed chores to be done. 

There would be no yard work, landscaping, or plant watering, contracted out; no meals, cooked by others; no bills or correspondence, administered by others except for immediate matters that required response; no leather cleaning, shoe shining, small repairs, car maintenance, shopping, laundry, dry cleaning, driving, dishes, or housework, done by others; don’t have to make the bed, hang up the towels, or clean up the dishes.

The big question is what would personally be done?  The answer lies in the endeavors.  Right now they are a list of twenty items and we need to look at them to see the survivors and those to be hired out.  The actions I take to pursue my endeavors are: audition, utilize (assets), associate, serve (community), enjoy (cooking), use (digital technology), manage (personal finances), exercise, study (French), play (golf), think (life and living), develop (maintain brain-body), compete (pool), ride (horses), sketch, socialize, act, travel, write, and work (maintain the house and yard.)

Of these I could hire out utilize digital technology, manage personal finances, and work to maintain the house.  All the others are things that I want to do for personal achievement and to enjoy my time during the day.  The digital technology aspect could be hired out so I would specify what I wanted installed and utilized and have someone else make sure that it was done and that I am trained.

How much of my time and psychic energy would be freed by such an arrangement?  Since each of these is that to which physical and psychic energy is being applied, we can think of it as a bubble of present activity.  This bubble expands and contracts with desired results.  When something has to be done, the bubble inflates; when it is completed it deflates, or even pops.  It is when it hangs around not finished that it begins to bother me.

In almost every instance of my life this is the scenario; a goal or activity is selected and then work goes on to accomplish same.  As in the case of the telephone service modification, it is hanging around a long time unfinished due to unforeseen circumstances.  Unfinished, misbegotten, procrastinated, or otherwise incomplete activities cause me considerable angst.

Sometimes less important endeavors, and by this I mean less directly related to the achievement of my major aim(s), are used as a distraction from spending time and energy on the majors.  The majors being acting and writing, and then there are others that get neglected out of laziness or even reluctance; these are: associating, utilizing assets (improving net worth), French, and social.

In fact, there wouldn’t be a lot of time made available if I was to hire out those that could be done by others.  By the time I managed someone to do this it would be easier and more time efficient for me to do it myself.  The only requirements for me are (1) the ability to see what needs doing, (2) the discipline necessary to do it, and (3)stop when no further progress can be made for additional effort.

The plotting and scheming that I do each week keep me going but it could be that it allows me to think that I’m making progress when actually there is much more to be made if I applied myself to it more diligently.  The question from Alan Aiken in his book How to Get Control of Your Time and Your Life has to be asked over and over again: “What is the best use I can make of my time, right now?”

The answer has to be objective rather than expedient.  This is the second pitfall into which I fall because I will often pick s.t. that is fun, pleasant, easy, or distracting instead of s.t. that moves me towards achievement of aim.  Along with this is the discounting of laziness and reluctance.  All too often s.t. doesn’t happen because of one or the other of these and then I become aware of the lost opportunity later and get filled with regret and often become critical of me.

One gage of achievement is how much time one spends waiting.  The optimum situation is to have enough of a grasp of what needs doing to achieve aim that one can fill every waking moment with doing it.  

To sum up this post, if you need a helping hand, look at the end of your arm.