Ideals

 

We seem to have instilled in us, or perhaps it is innate, a desire to perceive that we have lived up to an ideal.  These ideals pertain to what we do, not necessarily what we don't.

Ideals are shaped in our mind from infancy.  They may start as an infant's ploy for favorable attention from parents and then, later, from others in positions of influence.  These ideals shape our performance of any and all actions.

Ideals are subject to change but the underlying incentive is a favorable reaction from an audience; be it of one person or a theater full of people.  Everything we say and do in the presence of others is shaped by these ideals.

The downside is not living up to an ideal.  Omissions and errors, when we realize we've experienced  them, cause emotional pain.  This pain is on a continuum from "so what" to OMG, I have really messed up!  

During and immediately following a performance, the realization that it didn't measure up to the ideal causes discouragement.  Self-talk on these occasions can be, "Why do I even bother to try this?"  "I'm not going to play this game anymore."  "What a silly ass am I, performing this badly."  

A good performance, or at least a passable one, may lead to self-congratulatory expressions and a desire to play again.  It is truly a see-saw of emotions.  One moment in the pits; then looking at it more objectively, back on top again.  

The importance of games is to learn to win and lose with equanimity.  A loss such as forgetting a line or missing a shot can bring with it self-flagellation.  The true performer/competitor can take it in stride, which is what friendly competition allows one to develop.

Turning professional doesn't change anything.  It only means that your successes lead to more work and your failures, if significant enough, lead to no work.  

The game of baseball is a wonderful analogy for/of life.   The levels of players range from sandlot to professional.  A player, competing against others of similar capabilities, is successful if his numbers are comparably better than theirs.  An ERA of zero, a batting average of 1000 are unrealistic standards; it is the comparison of your numbers to those of the others.  It is true for all levels; and it is the same in life.

When we set unrealistic ideals, we are setting ourselves up for emotional problems.  If our ideals are too high, we cannot achieve them without the sacrifice of all other activities.  If our ideals are too low, we live with an unrealistic perception of perfection.

The personal ideals we set can best be accommodated by continuously and objectively evaluating their efficacy and adjusting them to realistically represent that of which we are capable.  When approaching an ideal, one can enjoy the accomplishment and then adjust it up a notch.