Serendipity

 There are so many instances where it turns out for the good.  More than can be given over to chance.  It caused me to wonder, is there manipulation of whatever: traffic, weather, horse races, gaming tables, my location vis a vis the bullet, the car, the falling object, going on with me receiving the benefit?  Then I realized that it wasn't the whatever being manipulated but it was I.  Guided by something unseen to be there and then, to make this choice, to do whatever leading up to then.

What is this unseen something? It could be a faculty, of which we are not aware, that guides us to that end.  It may be some connection we have to the universe.  It may be those who have gone before us into the spiritual realm, those we befriended or helped in some way; could even be family that have gone before us.

The source of this "serendipity" is not known.  It happens with such frequency that I don't put if off to chance.  Yet it is not something upon which to rely; making a conscious decision to do something, thinking that serendipity will happen for us, would be a big mistake.  That is the time when it wouldn't.

Meanwhile, sit back, relax, and enjoy it when it does happen and say a silent "thank you."

Ideals

 

We seem to have instilled in us, or perhaps it is innate, a desire to perceive that we have lived up to an ideal.  These ideals pertain to what we do, not necessarily what we don't.

Ideals are shaped in our mind from infancy.  They may start as an infant's ploy for favorable attention from parents and then, later, from others in positions of influence.  These ideals shape our performance of any and all actions.

Ideals are subject to change but the underlying incentive is a favorable reaction from an audience; be it of one person or a theater full of people.  Everything we say and do in the presence of others is shaped by these ideals.

The downside is not living up to an ideal.  Omissions and errors, when we realize we've experienced  them, cause emotional pain.  This pain is on a continuum from "so what" to OMG, I have really messed up!  

During and immediately following a performance, the realization that it didn't measure up to the ideal causes discouragement.  Self-talk on these occasions can be, "Why do I even bother to try this?"  "I'm not going to play this game anymore."  "What a silly ass am I, performing this badly."  

A good performance, or at least a passable one, may lead to self-congratulatory expressions and a desire to play again.  It is truly a see-saw of emotions.  One moment in the pits; then looking at it more objectively, back on top again.  

The importance of games is to learn to win and lose with equanimity.  A loss such as forgetting a line or missing a shot can bring with it self-flagellation.  The true performer/competitor can take it in stride, which is what friendly competition allows one to develop.

Turning professional doesn't change anything.  It only means that your successes lead to more work and your failures, if significant enough, lead to no work.  

The game of baseball is a wonderful analogy for/of life.   The levels of players range from sandlot to professional.  A player, competing against others of similar capabilities, is successful if his numbers are comparably better than theirs.  An ERA of zero, a batting average of 1000 are unrealistic standards; it is the comparison of your numbers to those of the others.  It is true for all levels; and it is the same in life.

When we set unrealistic ideals, we are setting ourselves up for emotional problems.  If our ideals are too high, we cannot achieve them without the sacrifice of all other activities.  If our ideals are too low, we live with an unrealistic perception of perfection.

The personal ideals we set can best be accommodated by continuously and objectively evaluating their efficacy and adjusting them to realistically represent that of which we are capable.  When approaching an ideal, one can enjoy the accomplishment and then adjust it up a notch.

Awareness

 

A recent realization, Awareness, is the "sujet du jour."  It is as vital as any of the other five senses and works in conjunction with them.

It is manifested in many ways.  One is seeing someone and simply knowing that something is wrong; it is unintentionally going to the place where a lost item is to be found; it is reaching for something in the dark or without looking and finding it; it is turning this way or that and finding it to be right; it is often a major factor in finding pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.  It is being "aware" without even consciously thinking about it

You know about it, maybe you haven't thought about it but it's there.

It's Not Fair!

 

Under the guise of being "the disadvantaged," various segments of the population strive for equality.  That is disingenuous because as soon as equality is legislated they begin to go for superiority and replace whatever cultural norms may be in place with what they feel is "better." So what we are seeing is a power struggle, a sort of "King of the Hill" situation where the extant are under siege by those not.

Cases in point:

A reader of Marilyn Savant's column takes issue with the designation Male/Female for electrical (and plumbing) plugs.

A particularly vocal woman decries moustaches as being unsavory when in fact the only reason she dislikes them is she can't grow one.

A young man shrugs off the advice of an older, more knowledgeable, pool player until the older tells him he didn't make this stuff up, it was told to him by more experienced players.

Dr. Seuss books are banned.

The black/white issue will not even be addressed here but the implications are the same.

There is a structure in place, not necessarily legal, moral, or ethical, that is seen as unfair by some and they make every attempt to dismantle it and replace it with something they feel is more fair.  The fact is that life is not fair and to seek fairness is like jousting with windmills.  Those who ascribe to the existing structure are vilified and shamed into compliance with the "new" ideas simply because they don't agree.

Legislation cannot change attitudes; we think it can but only the personal choice of the holder of that attitude will change it.  Time will pass, attitudes will change under the influence of law but constantly haranguing for them will not.  Any more than body shaming will change the eating habits of an obese person.       

Are You There?

 The following is an exercise used successfully to imagine contacting entities in the spiritual realm.  Is it memory or reminder?  I don't know but it works.

The curtain closes; (sitting comfortably in a chair in a darkened room) the audience is leaving the theater.  Each one talking with another, some happy, some not, all with emotional and physical reactions. (Relaxing, as all the tension and anxiety are assigned to the departing audience)   

When the theater is empty, all of the emotional and physical reactions to the production and to life in general  likewise depart.  And each one, as they leave, takes with them the anxiety and tension, it is gone.  The theater is silent and empty. (The body is fully relaxed; arms, legs, neck, shoulders, back, face, jaw, mouth agape.)

Then the director appears, descends a  staircase, counting down the twelve steps into the dimly lit storage area where the props, costumes, and sets from previous performers are kept.  He opens the door and enters the room, the remnants of those who filled these roles and costumes, who used these props and sets, are evident to him.  He places a chair and closes the door, he sits in the darkness of the room (doing so); no sound, no light, nothing stirring.

He whispers a name.  Lights a candle (Doing so.) Stares into the flame.  With the name in mind, he recalls occasions when he was with this person, what the person was doing.

He is receptive to anything this person may want to pass along to him.  He sits and stares into the flame, the quiet all around, the presence felt, the words, feelings, influences, memories, all seeping into his mind.  

A trickle at first, then more clearly; is there a message to be heard, felt, or perceived?  What would you tell me?  Are there things I should know, should do, of which I should be aware?  Are there ideas that can be shared, passed along, developed into action? How can the person be of assistance to him now?  Would that assistance be given?  Are there others to join us, who, why?

We sit together, enjoying the company, each of the other until the other gets up and turns to go, walks away, fades into the darkness.

Slowly the director gets up from the chair, sees the candle light and extinguishes it, opens the door, .  He goes up the stairs, counting each as he ascends.  One-two-three-four; up to five, six, seven, eight, (opening the eyes) to see the stage surrounding him, (the room) set as it is for the performance coming soon (the next).

The Performance of Life (The Theater Analogy)

 

The lights are out, you are laying in bed, covers up to your chin; all snug for sleep.  The day's performances are over.  The audience has left the building, the lights are dim, the staff and crew are making preparations for cleaning and repairs.  These are the mechanicals, they will work all night.  The object of their work is the facility; the theater, an analogy for the body.

(Later, an addendum) Laying there, in bed, eyes closed, imagining the scene.  The theater (the body) is emptying, the audience is leaving.  Each in the audience carries with him/her an emotional response to the performance, the events of the day, and as the audience leaves the theater, they take with them the emotional responses until they are all gone, the theater is empty (the body fully relaxed) and the meeting is about to start.

The director, the persona in charge, walks down the middle aisle and up onto the stage.  There is a single work lamp in middle of the floor.  He beckons the cast, all the other personae in the being, to the first few rows and asks that they be on their best behavior.

He begins with a review of the day and how it went.  Not an in-depth review but more calling to mind the events of the day, the performances.  At times the cast chuckles at what happened, at other times there is silence because it didn't go as planned; then there's mild laughter as the miscues are recalled, those that were made but didn't disrupt the show.  

Continuing now, he brings out the way the show is supposed to go on in the next and future performances.  Those dozen, or so, facets that need attention in order for the show to be a success; to fulfill the aim of peace of mind through accomplishment.  In expounding on these he goes into some detail for what has to happen tomorrow and the days after tomorrow, into the future.  Each member of the cast hears and has an internal reaction; being professional he/she remains positive and constructive.

Once satisfied that he's covered the agenda, the Director dismisses the cast with the admonition to have some fun, get some rest, and be on top of your game for the next performance.  Then he goes to his special place, his dressing room, and sighs in relief of another day of success and he goes to sleep.

And then we do it all again tomorrow night.