Monday, March 13, 2017

Ground Hog Day- Updated

About two and a half years ago I published a post entitled, Ground Hog Day.  It was actually on September 6, 2014.  This is a sort of update to that post.  Time has passed and the situation hasn't changed all that much.  It is still Ground Hog Day around here but with a new realization and that is living in the present.

Most people don't give recollection and remembering a second thought; it is natural, expected, and is something upon which to rely.  Our memories of childhood fuel the stories that we tell our grandchildren.  Our recollection of dates and events allow us to go through the present without concern.  Sworn testimony often contains recollection of facts surrounding an act. When we forget a birthday or anniversary, the other is offended because remembering is expected; not only that of others but ourselves as well.

Take that away and there is a totally different perspective evident.  A trip down a familiar roadway and all the sights are brand new. This road is in terrible condition; can't you write your friend a letter about it?  Where is all this traffic coming from; shouldn't these people all be at work?  Seeing a familiar house, one is heard to ask the same question about those living there,  such as, I wonder why they have so many little cars parked in their driveway?

When you've been over the same traffic jammed and bumpy roads so many times, they no longer seems worthy of comment but when one doesn't recall the terrible conditions from the last 100 times over it, it is worthy of comment.  What one with normal memory expects is the same lack of comment that anyone would have after so many repetitions; one hears the comment as a complaint when in fact, it is an observation, again

The person with impaired memory lives totally in the present; enjoys programs while they watch but can't tell you a thing about them later.  Enjoys a conversation but has no recollection of the call.  The most common statement is, 'I can't remember now because I am so tired," and having said that, all of the concern about the situation goes away.

"This set of keys would be better put over here," then can't find them when the need arises. Pills are put out to take during the day and they are still there the next day and the next.   Clothes are strewn about to be put away later but then later never happens, it is always now. When the mess is recognized one hears, "I must get to that, tomorrow." This scenario is repeated continuously.

The idea of living in the present was mentioned in passing by my son in a phone conversation when it became evident that he'd called and had conversation with his mother but she didn't mention it and couldn't recall it when I asked about it.  He simply said, "She's living in the present."  I must give him credit for making such an astute observation because after he said it, my understanding of the situation improved.

Thankfully, I'm here to remind her.






Sunday, March 5, 2017

Good Reviews, In My Dreams


This morning, I awoke from a dream.  Once again I was in the shipyard offices working, but this time I was a total success.  People were coming to me instead of ignoring me, treating me with respect instead of disdain.  I was "at home" as I walked through the corridors off the lobby, which were all marble and outfitted with art deco glass and light globes.  I was approving important documents for collecting money for work.  A rather bright, intelligent young man was asking me for advice on how best to get ahead there because he was applying for work.

This is quite a contrast to my usual shipyard dream.  I am, until this one, always feeling shunned, as if I am marked for deletion but no one is willing to talk about it with me. The shipyard is my recurring dream and, until this last one, almost a night mare.

When I thought about it, I think it may be that I am feeling the success of my portrayal of Joe Cabot in Reservoir Dogs.  The audiences have been most complimentary and volunteered their enthusiastic review of my efforts.  It is a sad commentary that I feel good about my life and performances so few times but that's the way it is/was.