Dementia

It has names, and the one that seems to describe what is going on with us is dementia.  It was discovered to have already started in June 2010.  It is reaching the advanced stages now.

There's an analogy that helps me understand what's going on.  Our mind, i.e. the thinking of our brain, has a capacity for it that is like the water that fills a very large tub. The situation is such that no water can be added to the tub.  

Dementia is like when the plug in the bottom of that tub is removed.  The water flows out at a fairly constant rate but it is hardly noticeable at first because there is so much water in the tub.  

Then as it continues to flow out, it becomes more and more noticeable until, as it nears the bottom of the tub, it seems to run rapidly out.  It drains until all the water is gone.  And when the brain can no longer think, it's over.

Ying and Yang

 

The Hyatt-Regency, downtown, has a public face and a working face.  The public face is well decorated and ornate, comfortable, subdued, peaceful.  The working face is well used, bruised walls, worn flooring, glaring lights, echoing sounds, somewhat disarranged.  One would never mistake one for the other.  The public face is there to please the customers, the working face is there to get the job done. 

Two twenty-something year olds at the pool table, playing in the league week after week.  Two tougher "bitches" you will never meet, their language will blister paint, and they're good at the game of pool.  Same two were encountered where they work, as waitstaff in a restaurant.  One would never encounter sweeter, more pleasant and innocent sounding individuals anywhere; "Yes ma'am."  "No ma'am."  "Was everything OK sir?"  If I couldn't see their faces, I'd never know it was the same two people.

The management level of an apartment complex couldn't be more solicitous of the residents.  Yet they can't keep staff because they are somewhat abusive to those who work for them.  

The drama professor who is a congenial, "hail fellow well met," outside the class or rehearsal, but becomes a bully and tyrant leading a class or directing a rehearsal.

And there are many of these examples.  I'm sure the reader has likewise encountered them.  It behooves us to realize this and do a little introspection.  

The successful one is he/she who homogenizes the two internally.  They may not be all sweetness and light but at the same time they are not all thorns and venom.  An honest embrace of the Human Relation Principles, internalizing them for actions/reactions to all, is the aim to which we aspire.

If we don't see us for what we are/do, we can't change.  This message is for all.  Be good, sincerely, to everyone, always.

Oh, what are the Human Relations Principles?  Find the book, How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, and read the timeless truth.

Ground Hog Day Updated--Again

 It has now been about 10 years since publishing Ground Hog Day the first time.  Since it is Ground Hog Day, I thought it would be appropriate to do it again as I did a few years ago.

The update is short, a short sentence.  The situation remains the same except we rarely go out.  There's been drama in the form of a fall that resulted in major hip surgery, relocation to an apartment that has a care provider on site, deeper descent into dementia, and overcoming a high mortality rate from this sort of event.  So proud of us and especially her.

"About two and a half years ago I published a post entitled, Ground Hog Day.  It was actually on September 6, 2014.  This is a sort of update to that post.  Time has passed and the situation hasn't changed all that much.  It is still Ground Hog Day around here but with a new realization and that is living in the present.

"Most people don't give recollection and remembering a second thought; it is natural, expected, and is something upon which to rely.  Our memories of childhood fuel the stories that we tell our grandchildren.  Our recollection of dates and events allow us to go through the present without concern.  Sworn testimony often contains recollection of facts surrounding an act. When we forget a birthday or anniversary, the other is offended because remembering is expected; not only that of others but ourselves as well.

"Take that away and there is a totally different perspective evident.  A trip down a familiar roadway and all the sights are brand new. This road is in terrible condition; can't you write your friend a letter about it?  Where is all this traffic coming from; shouldn't these people all be at work?  Seeing a familiar house, one is heard to ask the same question about those living there,  such as, I wonder why they have so many little cars parked in their driveway?

"When you've been over the same traffic jammed and bumpy roads so many times, they no longer seems worthy of comment but when one doesn't recall the terrible conditions from the last 100 times over it, it is worthy of comment.  What one with normal memory expects is the same lack of comment that anyone would have after so many repetitions; one hears the comment as a complaint when in fact, it is an observation, again

"The person with impaired memory lives totally in the present; enjoys programs while they watch but can't tell you a thing about them later.  Enjoys a conversation but has no recollection of the call.  The most common statement is, 'I can't remember now because I am so tired," and having said that, all of the concern about the situation goes away.

"'This set of keys would be better put over here,' then can't find them when the need arises. Pills are put out to take during the day and they are still there the next day and the next.   Clothes are strewn about to be put away later but then later never happens, it is always now. When the mess is recognized one hears, "I must get to that, tomorrow." This scenario is repeated continuously.

"The idea of living in the present was mentioned in passing by my son in a phone conversation when it became evident that he'd called and had conversation with his mother but she didn't mention it and couldn't recall it when I asked about it.  He simply said, 'She's living in the present.'  I must give him credit for making such an astute observation because after he said it, my understanding of the situation improved.

Thankfully, I'm here to remind her."

The Missing Ingredient

Much effort goes into the development of a being.  First, there is the issue of deciding what the being wants.  Dreams lay the groundwork for making those decisions, but more often than not, the dreams seem to come from out in left field.  It must be understood that what I am writing is autobiographical and it is hoped that it may be of some value to others in reaching some understanding of why and how.

My dreams have come from a variety of places, none seem to have been all that premeditated.  The big ones, sailing, ships, horses, Dale Carnegie instructor, manager in a large company, using digital technology, dancing, traveling the world, especially Europe, a business, a house, and now acting, all came from out of nowhere.  A possibility is that they are leftovers from previous lives.

All of them were sourced internally.  Then developed through reading about similar activities, not of others but fiction and nonfiction sources.  These are what embellish the dream, make it seem like it can be achieved.

And, while all of that is important, now I want to dwell on the realization of the dream and what it takes to do that.  There is a developmental period through which one goes as he sets out to realize a dream.  Often starting from just a dream, a statement parsed as, "I want to..." and then thinking, studying, discussing, seeing and taking the necessary steps, identifying the required skills, practicing them, and patiently doing the work.

Along the way, one reaches a point where he knows that he has the capability but lacks the ability to perform successfully.  This is when he must reach an understanding of the skills required, hone that knowledge into the basic parameters of performing, and practice those skills until they are part of him.

This having been done, he reaches a point where mental discipline is required to reach new, and better, performance levels.  And that starts with the rules.  Every endeavor, be it a career, a sport, or a hobby comes with a set of rules.  Following the rules is a matter of integrity and it takes a certain mental discipline to do so.  And the more skilled one becomes in an endeavor, the more important it is to have the mental discipline to follow the rules.  

Then there are aphorisms that describe the way one lives his daily life.  While these are not rules, they are guidelines upon which one can rely to make decisions on how to react to what is happening around him.  Keeping them in mind, perhaps not in the forefront, but always there as a framework for actions, is a big part of mental discipline.

Distractions are what take us away from disciplined action and there are several that are described in the Fourth Way and once reading the descriptions, they become readily apparent.  Recognizing them and stopping them in their tracks is also an aspect of mental discipline. In the Fourth Way, mental discipline can be seen as being present, being awake, and being aware instead of our normal state of being asleep (distracted).

One can only develop attention in increments.  It can start with a few moments of concentrated effort on a skill and build to a more sustained amount of time.  It seems that a good target for practicing, and otherwise being involved in a skill, is twenty minutes.  And even this may be difficult to achieve at first, but it is a target.  Once achieved, it can be expanded to whatever time is comfortable.

When successfully employing mental discipline, realizing one's dreams becomes a full-time job.  Just like learning a skill, it can only be developed through practice.  It is not quite the same, however, as the skills to which were we referred above, but practice through realizing when one is, and is not, paying attention to the fulfillment of dreams.

Analogies

 It is interesting to me that we use analogies to help us understand, as in, "sweet as a rose."  For me, the two grand analogies of life are stage and baseball.  In theater, from first read to strike.  In baseball, from Spring training to the last game of the season.  

For both, it is in the myriad of activities that takes place.  Both are "life" as it happens to someone else, often for our enjoyment.  And we learn as we watch, if we watch intelligently.

Electronics, the Internet, and Us (a fable)

Once upon a time, there was a family consisting of a mother and father and some children.  The parents, in thinking they were being kind and loving, provided everything the children needed and wanted, even to the point of tending to their hygiene, dressing them, cutting their meat, feeding them their meals,  and keeping them indoors because they thought they would be safer inside.

The parents, unfortunately, were killed in a freak accident and the children were left on their own to fend for themselves.  It was catastrophic for them.

(Faced with the requirement to find the square root of 123456789 without a calculator, or die, most people would die.)

Enormous Truth

 

In the New Testament is the sentence, "And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." (John 8:32) This is the same author that gave us: "In the beginning was the Word, and the word was with God, and the Word was God." 

Both of these set me off into a maelstrom of thought about what we think of as the truth.  Every civilization for more than 5000 years has had its version of "the truth" and even today there are many versions of the truth: Christian sects, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, the way of the monk, the priest, the yoga, and the Fourth Way, plus others.  And there is a trap in each.  

The trap is when the follower of a teaching takes it as the truth without question, without reservation.  We, individually, are like passengers on an ocean ship.  Everything is fine until the ship sinks, and we are afloat on the open ocean.

While the ship was sailing along, we were quite content.  The captain and crew seemed qualified, the accommodations were good, the food was good, and the company was likewise compatible.  The all of a sudden, poof, it was gone, and we were left to make it on our own.  We are lost because relied on what was told to us by others who thought they knew the truth.

There is a distinct possibility that they didn't know the truth, even though they sincerely thought they did.  Same for all of those before, and until now, who preach that what they think is the truth.

Oh, there is truth alright, we just don't know what it is yet.

The truth may be so enormous that we cannot comprehend it.  The Earth, a collective noun, is a good example.  There is so much to it that no one person really understands it.  There are many disciplines of science that deal with it, such as Geology, Physics, Chemistry, Biology, etc., yet no one person can comprehend the Earth in its entirety, and more is discovered about it every day.  It is the same for God, another collective noun.

What was thought to be the truth turns out to be not quite the truth.  The same can be said for religions.  All three of the Indian blind men were telling the truth as they felt the elephant.