"Such Stuff As Dreams Are Made On"

This is one of those occasions when I am going to sit here and key the words that come out of my mind.  I feel that I am at a juncture of life at this very moment so I am going to let it stream out onto this screen and then read the results and try to make some sense out of it.

Nothing seems important to me now.  I look objectively on my acting and wonder what/how/why I have been able to take the roles I've had and do anything of entertainment value with them.  I do the same with each of my endeavors and come to the same conclusion.

Not much of what I've done is of a professional quality.  And by professional I mean resulting from reaching the unconscious-competent level of performance.  It's been fun, interesting, entertaining for me, and in some cases I've come through in the clutch to save the day but am I in charge?  No, it doesn't seem that I am.  Yet  there it is, finished, won, overcome, the audience loved it.  Aha!  by definition this is the unconscious-competent level of performance.

This is one of the anomalies of my life as I continue to observe it.  I get myself into situations and then get out of them, usually successfully.  I walked into a reception and wound up talking to the president of the company and did not even know it was he to whom I was speaking.  This sort of thing happens a lot.  It's as if the observing me is only a spectator at the event, some other driver is putting this brain-body in prominent places.

Even when I think I am in charge, I'm not.  This begs the question, who is this I who wants to think he's in charge?  Whoever that I is, he sits here now thinking that he's never in charge.  Yet he wants to be, wants to accomplish s.t. that he can feel he has initiated and seen to fruition.

There have been some things that have been accomplished by his choice/s.  But more interesting things have happened around him or even in spite of him.  He seems to want to think he has put the strategy and tactics in place to fulfill a dream or two but, in fact, the dreams are usually achieved as a result of other inhabitants in this mind.

The I speaking now likes to take on puzzles but the majority of the more complicated puzzles are solved while he is in a torpor, snoozing between entries, or has left the unfinished puzzle and came back to it later only to put down the solution without the application of any thought or analysis of his. Others, herein, work out the details and produce the solutions.

To this end I have written out my wildest dreams for each of the planning categories and read them while attempting to engage the heart as well as the mind.  The real objective is to involve all three, the mind, the heart, and the body in the desire to achieve these goals.

I read the dreams and see some dissonance, some pictures and situations that I have difficulty imagining.  These will have to be reconciled somehow and accepted or the dream can't be realized.  If I don't believe with my whole heart, mind, and body that this is what I truly desire, then it won't be.

So, whatever is discordant has to be tuned, i.e., stated in an acceptable way for the three to ascribe to the successful achievement of the dream.

During the development of my role(s) in plays, I have to go through the tunnel of inner-considering as I attempt to learn the lines and blocking.  Being personally critical of my performance, disappointed with my speed of acquiring the role, and the imagined disapproval of others in the cast cause me a great deal of angst.

As I strive to realize my dreams there are various, unspecified stages of development that have to occur.  The same thing is true for every endeavor that I pursue.  There is a series of mental states through which I am required to pass to get to the next level of performance.  So, the same endeavor requires that I go through the mental, emotional, and physical development to achieve that level of success and then that allows me to go on to the next level.

This is the difference between art and science.  Art is the unconscious performance that is only achieved after science, the work part of it, has been completed.

Science is defined as: the intellectual and practical activity encompassing the systematic study of the structure and behavior of the physical and natural world through observation and experiment.  Art, however, is the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination.  It is the combination of these two that fulfills the dream.

The conclusion to which I am trending is to embrace this phenomenon; relax and enjoy it.  State the dream and live the desire to fulfill the dream and let the multitude of other I's do their work to assimilate the knowledge and then take advantage of the circumstances necessary for its achievement.

The Possible Hitchhiker

The mind and Master only have the brain-body at hand with which to work; whatever limitations exist are as a result of this fact.

In writings of The Fourth Way, various body types are identified.  It becomes clear to me that this is an attempt to recognize the possibilities as well as the limitations that are available to the mind in achieving aim.  A person weighing 200 pounds might want to see himself as a jockey and, although he may be able to ride, he will never compete; so too are the limitations put on what can be accomplished by a body type and the capability of the brain.

Early conditioning by parents and other authority figures also plays a major role in what the mind is capable of achieving as a servant of Master.  But a more perspective look at what we are and what we do may yield some different results.

We live, we work, we die.  What we do when we work is the result of many complex factors.  It is the result of choices made as a result of using imagination and reasoning, conditioned as they are by physiology, psychology and perhaps some other influences of which we aren't totally aware.

It is possible that we are vessels for a spiritual world that exists outside of our ken.  This spiritual world may be made up of entities that are living but not in a brain-body.  Entities that inhabit us at some point and influence our development as part of life on Earth.  Entities that have inhabited others in the past and will inhabit others in the future.

Some may be permanent inhabitants of a person, staying with him/her for a lifetime.  These may be conjoined with a being and, should they lose the colossal struggle for who satisfies their desires during a lifetime, could bring that lifetime to a premature end in order for them to move on.  These permanent inhabitants use the person for their own development in their quest for higher Aim; that is an ability to exist permanently in the spiritual world.

Thus there are two who are seeking fulfillment; the mind, who makes conscious decisions to guide his actions in development and Master, the spiritual entity that is seeking his development for whatever purpose that may be.  And if his development is not complete at the end of the life of the brain-body, he moves to another and continues his development.

Then there may also be others, free spirits, who sort of hang around the place of their previous experience and "step in" to use and even enjoy the experiences of a person as they pass through, much like a hitchhiker who rides along but doesn't replace the driver of the vehicle.

The new idea here is the sharing of the person with transient entities that may be lingering in the neighborhood.  It is intriguing to think about this possibility and it would explain the feelings of deja- vue that sometimes occur.  It may also be why some horrific crimes are solved; the victim "stays around" to inhabit another whom he then uses to bring the perpetrator to some kind of justice.  It is all to deep to fathom but it is interesting to think about it like this from time to time.  I would certainly not pronounce any of my ideas as dogma but I find them interesting.

Why, An Exit Strategy

Feb 26, 2016.  Since this was published, I've had heart and lung tests and diagnoses that tell me I'm fine.  The lungs are, in fact, damaged from smoking, COPD Grade 2.  It is progressive.  The CT scan showed that my aorta is enlarged.  The echo-cardiogram and stress test returned good results, no restrictions.
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There is one of me who feels it necessary, or has a strong desire to tell what he's doing; this blog is the result. In fairness to the rest of me, it is one of the reasons for the blog.  A second, and one would like to think more important reason, is sorting out the the thoughts that whistle through this head of mine.

One finds that writing out and then reading his thoughts leads to a better understanding of life and living.  Never has this one pretended that these essays are for anyone else, although anyone else is certainly welcome to read them; and many people have.  Yet there is one who opens the blogger dashboard and excitedly looks at how many additional "hits" there have been and the country of origin of those hits.  He takes pride in the quantity and the variety of people who are reading or at least opening and looking at his essays.

This dichotomy underlines the multi-faceted nature of the mind.  The mind is the originator of ideas, which lead to thoughts, which are a brain function, which then lead to action. The mind is incorporeal, i.e, having no material body or form; it is the source for the being, which is comprised of the mind and the brain-body.  The mind only has the brain-body at hand with which to work; whatever limitations exist are as a result of this fact.    The mind is the spring from which the waters of ideas flow and they flow through the channels of the brain-body for realization.

There are, in each of us, many personae; each of which was created by the mind to cope with a certain apparent need at the time that had not experienced previously.  Then, as this instance of coping was successful, that persona was cataloged and put aside.  When the need recurred, that same persona was called into play.  When this happened on enough occasions, the persona became a permanent part of the "personality" of the being.

When the being has to deal with a similar situation that occurred in the past, personae are called to deal with it again.  If the circumstances require a slightly different approach, a new persona is created that does so, incorporating those aspects of the already existing persona.  Thus we find that we are comprised of many, many personae.

The "Director" of the brain-body is he who calls forth one or more personae to implement those ideas.  He is of the mind and not a physical entity.  He is near the surface but doesn't "appear" as do those personae he calls to the fore.

_________ (some time after the above was written)_________

All of a sudden, my life has changed.  I just got word that I have problems with my lungs.  These can be traced to smoking tobacco products, i.e. cigarettes, cigars, and pipes, for a long time.  I quit in 1984, over 31 years ago, and have been under the impression that in quitting that long ago all problems would have been resolved.  Now an ugly head is raised.

About 15 years ago, in a physical exam, a doctor told me that there was scar tissue in my lungs that was the result of smoking but that there wasn't anything to be done about it.  So, I've been going my merry way for all this time.  Now, the news is different, puzzling, and problematic.  I am to see a pulmonary specialist next week.

Let's assume for the moment that I am diagnosed with a terminal illness and have less than a year to live. What changes would be made in my day to day activities?

I would keep my daily routine and continue to tend to my needs and affairs.  I would immediately update the letter to Maggie, and update the power of attorney made for her to use.  There are a couple of overtures I would make to estranged relatives.  I would continue to pursue the endeavors that remain after making a common sense appraisal of each of them, and I'd discard a lot of stuff that is just laying around.  In other words, do and live as I am currently with the exception of mending a few fences.

Then, at a time when it made sense to do so, I would deliver a coup de grace to me and completely shorten the process of dying.  The scenario of doctors, hospitals, chemotherapy, and Hosparus doesn't appeal to me when I know the result is going to be the same, only postponed with much agony and suffering.  This may come at a point where my thoughts turn from pursuing the truth about questions of life and living to only being concerned with what's next in the treatment of a terminal illness.  At that point, I will say, "Adieu" to family and friends and quietly fade into the sunset

Now a thought within my mind unlooses; perhaps I should go ahead and start living this way now, regardless of the diagnosis next week.  It makes a lot of sense to me.  It is the exit strategy for which I've been searching.


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The Grand Analogy

When we look at something familiar and use it to understand what has hitherto been mysterious to us, we have used an important human tool.  Being able to make analogies may be unique to homo sapiens but then it may be observed in rudimentary form in other species.  Regardless, it is an important mechanism that we use for understanding.

Such was the case as I participated in a meeting early this afternoon.  Apart from the subject being discussed, my mind began putting together an analogy that is profound; it has to do with the Earth, Sun, and Moon.  The Earth is analogous to Mind, the Sun to Imagination, and the Moon to Dreams.

It is such  good analogy that the more one ponders it the deeper the understanding.  It is such a good analogy that it calls to mind the statement in Genesis 1:26-28, where man is created in the likeness of the creator.  There are other references to this in other myths unrelated to the Bible.

Life, in one form or another, covers the earth in a film wherever the conditions are amenable.  How it came from a single source into the multitude of manifestations it has today is certainly a mystery but, here again, one cannot deny the many species that constitute life on Earth.

Man developed out of life already on Earth, somewhere in the past we sprang forth, rather mysteriously but spring forth we did.  Then as the result of intelligent choice, i.e. at least one of a couple choosing the other, generation by generation life evolved into what we are today as we continue to evolve in the same way.

The mind of man, as proven by many examples from antiquity to today, is capable of realizing anything that can be imagined.  Our imagination is vast, it can propose much more than can be done in the moment; just as the sun provides much more energy than the Earth can use.  Yet it is this trait that allows us to realize ideas.

We decide what we want with our mind, just as the Earth blooms with life.  This is how we use the energy of imagination.

In order to stay the course and realize what we want and to persist through all of the distractions that come our way, we rely on our dream. This lesser light, as is the moon, causes us to churn our energy towards realizing it.

An analogy, to be useful, must do more than represent; it must give us a framework to which to go back, become a chart for navigating life and living.  We have often had the occasion to imagine what we would like to have, to be.  Likewise we have had dreams of how we would like our life to turn out.  All to often we have abandoned our hopes and dreams, looking for a different or better result.

Having the Earth, Sun, Moon analogy in mind, we can still change our mind, the course of our life but we can do it with intention instead of being buffeted by the vagaries of what we encounter.  The analogy reminds us to imagine, to formulate goals and objectives, to consciously dream and refresh that dream.

Then just as the energy of the Sun stimulates life on Earth and just as the influence of the moon causes constant motion that prevents stagnation, so does our imagination stimulate our activities and our dreams guide us in making choices as we pursue goals and objectives.

Events that Define Us

How do events become part of our life?  It all has to do with the emotional impact s.t. has on us when it happens.

Unforgettable moments in our lives embed themselves into our consciousness by the strength of their impact; much like a planetary collision.  Depending on the size and or importance of the event, it can cause a fundamental change in our life path just as the collision of planets x and y reformed into the Earth and Moon.  Or if less significant, leave a crater-like scar on our psyche that reminds us of the event.

One of the reasons for rituals in our life, like the sacraments of the RCC, is to create that emotional impact and thus remind us to think twice about making any change that would violate the terms and conditions of that ritual.

A Better Understanding of Life and Living

A long time ago, I read and then discounted the analogy of the deck of playing cards to the work of the 4th Way.  Then this past weekend I saw an episode from Beperiod.com that gave it a more meaningful perspective.  Although the deck of cards still falls short.

The sources of our actions are, in my estimation, six in number.  These six sources are the Intellectual, Emotional, Social, Sexual, Moving and Instinctive.  Gurus and other students of G. and O. may say four but then G. told us to think for ourselves.  So, be forewarned that this one is, as are all of my John Lina posts, for me but you are welcome to it.

There may be other, higher sources but of these I am only vaguely aware and certainly cannot write about them with any experience other than briefly encountering them.

In each of the six sources there are four levels of involvement.  There is the Directed level, where the reasoning takes place; the Reactive level where imagination is factored in; the Active center where the action takes place; and the Evaluative level where judgement occurs.  Any activity, in which the Being is involved, fits into this 6 by 4 matrix of possibilities.

The sources are what cause an action to take place and they are always mixing together to create the specific action of the being.  There is, however, the possibility of one or more of the sources being prominent enough to be identified as the prime mover but an observer must keep the mixing idea in mind. The level, however, of involvement is sometimes easier to identify.

When we are doing s.t., anything, it can be categorized as coming from any of these 24 possible sources.  As this matrix exists in the mind, the mind influences the body to respond by secreting a mixture of body fluids.  Not being an endocrinologist, I can't name them, nor say which does what but that they are secreted and cause the body to act/react is a reasonable conclusion.  It is exemplified by the fight, flight, or hide options of which we often make use.  

I noticed, for example, when I was doing my daily recitation of affirmations that after a few moments I wasn't aware of my words even though I was saying them aloud.  This indicated to me that one of me was not paying attention to what another of me was saying, saying it by rote and, therefore, not thinking about it or feeling it, I was in the moving level of involvement, all the others were asleep for that instant.  I immediately awakened to the task at hand and paid attention to what was being said.  

A second example is in learning lines.  The recitation of the lines in a play is from the Active level but the on-stage depiction of the character is from the Directed and Active levels.

This same thing happens in conversation all the time.  We are listening, at first, then drift off into other parts of our mind and don't listen to what is being said until pulled back into it by the speaker when he/she asks a question of us or does s.t. else to get out attention.  The Active level of the defaults into distraction.  This is the one where most of the "distraction" occurs because the machine learns movements and speeches/lines.

Self-observation is the study of this phenomenon; this activity requires involvement of the Evaluative level because it is where judgement take place.  It is important to note here that when this activity gets out of sequence, gets involved with the activity itself, it causes the being to act/react inappropriately.  For example, when one is involved in driving a golf ball and begins to observe his action during the swing, it almost always results in a bad drive.  The same is true for almost any repetitive Active level activity.

The appropriate time for self-observation is upon completion of the activity regardless of the source from which it emanates.  This can be very close to the completion or some time afterwards but always after.

Observation of the activities of the being is an interesting endeavor.  It leads to a better understanding of what is going on and can even lead to proactive desired action versus reactive.  There is also the possibility of making the being more efficient in producing desired results.

Self-observation is a life-long pursuit much like physical fitness.  When fitness activities are pursued, strength and flexibility are improved only to relapse if not continued.  The same is true of observing the being with an eye toward making it more productive in endeavors and, even more importantly, in supporting the development of Master.  And it must be pursued constantly in order to continue to reap the benefits of it.

As in realizing the benefits of fitness, the benefits of self-direction, which is one of the desired results of self-observation, are realized after they are achieved.  Often they are not preconceived but faith in self-observation results in the achievement of necessary results to further the right objectives of the being.

The answer to the question of what is the right objective for the being could change as one's understanding of the development of the being continues to deepen.  As I see it now, the answer lies in the pursuit of endeavors that allow/require me to apply directed attention.  As with fitness, these activities set the stage for the performance of other, different moves. 

By engaging in the pursuit of a list of endeavors, progress towards the major objective of allowing the development of Master is advanced.  At some future point in time, one could realize that he has arrived at a desired state of being.

Spontaneity is King

As I do every Sunday, it's my day of reflection, I pull up my Performance Evolution workbook and start through the process of advancing my work on various endeavors.  There is one sheet that I have entitled Major Bugaboos.  On this sheet I list the things that get in my way; they are usually psychological.

On/in one of these I discovered that one can waste a lot of psychic energy on endeavors that compete for the attention of the same personae.  One must, I concluded, limit his participation in these, even abandoning those that cause him to be distracted from his major objectives.

This morning I discovered another Bugaboo with which I must deal.  It is complex, in that it is difficult to put into words without getting very personal; but then that's what this blog is all about, me.

It started with reading about the "Observing I" and it became clear to me that this observing one must be dealt with realistically.  One doesn't use "Observing I" to monitor and direct his performance as it is happening.

Life is a spontaneous response to the circumstances that are presented to the individual as he goes about his day; not a performance, not even an audition, to be rehearsed and then performed.  And this is where it gets a little difficult.

In life, I want to be someone who is liked, with whom people want to be, to talk with, to be around. Professionally I am an actor, as such I want to perform a la mode of my character to the delight of the audience; I am a voice, I want to sound good so that I get work; I am an instructor, I want to present my material in a positive way that creates a desire for the trainee to take up the methods.

The belief that I am not very good at any of these is that under which I have been laboring.  The adage that "no one is perfect" couldn't be more appropriate when applied to me.  So there is a gap between desired performance and actual.

This struggle is the purpose of this little essay and it isn't going to take 1000 words to do it.  The answer is the realization that there is a difference between the ideal and the actual and that difference is not to be examined but ignored as it is happening.  Later, it can be examined and studied for improvement.

For daily life, the day to day encounters and interactions are best allowed to take place spontaneously.  For Acting the roles are to be performed as rehearsed.  For Voicing the scripts performed as practiced.  For Training the material presented as planned.

All  the while the ideal is to be studied to be understood; practiced in controlled instances, and allowed to be assimilated into the fabric of one's being.  "Forming good habits and becoming their slave, I am inovlved."  Then over time, the actual performance will improve to approach the ideal.

The study and practice of ideal technique takes place at another time and place, another realm, away from the public eye, i.e. aside, and is allowed to become part of the spontaneous response in a seemingly natural and easy way.