Solving a Time Problem

All of the time I have on my hands right now could be due to a lack of focus on my endeavors. But it is plain to see that I could easily commit to more than I could possibly accomplish, yet there are large gaps between deliveries. An example is acting, where I am currently in performances that go on each Saturday night for six more. Another is pool where I am in a league that plays on Wednesday night and our team is slated to play in the playoffs at the end of February. A third is riding where I am riding on Monday nights and can’t justify the acquisition of a horse, by purchase, lease, or arrangement other than per occasion. The fourth is golf and it is not the season; my club dues are paid for this year and I’m ready to play but won’t until at least the middle of next month. All of the others are likewise in progress but there is nothing pressing in/on any of them to keep me fully occupied. So what is my point?

My point is the utilization of the in-between times. I don’t want to get into other things because I want to stay focused on the four major endeavors and then the other fourteen, likewise important but less. Whenever I have or think of a task to do on any of them, I do it.

All of them could benefit from more attention and the one that could stand a lot of attention, and require me to get out and do it, would be sketching; I could do this without commitment to big chunks of time and in order to make it interesting I would go somewhere to make the sketch. I have the goal of a sketch diary and know that it will be crude in the beginning but will improve over time. I have a sketch book that I can carry with me and I will from tomorrow on.

There are some criteria for utilizing this discretionary time, which I haven’t articulated as yet; this will be an attempt to do so. The criteria for “forget-me-nots” are a good example/pattern/model to follow. There are two general criteria, Absolute and Desirable. The Absolute is that it has to be something that will support and make progress toward the accomplishment of the dream for an endeavor. The Desirable are: a) it not be a task listed in the palm pilot (b) it not require more time than is available at the moment, (c) that it not interfere with any item in the palm pilot, IOW not keep me from doing s.t. that is already planned, and (d) that it not preclude doing chores and duties.

This seems to be a brilliant plan for chinking the interstices in the wall of the day. Where I now puzzle, surf, or idle; I can refer to the "why would I" for the endeavors and do s.t. that will move me toward accomplishing those dreams. Just referring to the these, now in the palm pilot, will reinforce same and give them top of mind awareness. Although not a criteria, it should be kept in mind that whatever is done would be okay as it is, IOW perfection is not necessarily the goal.

This will certainly work for the four and all the other endeavors. It will immediately require me to get in touch with the dream of each of them; s.t. that has been articulated, recorded, and reviewed when plotting and scheming; and now carried with me for referral at the odd moment. So item number one on the agenda is to get the dreams for the year into the palm pilot for ad hoc review.

In order to keep it positive and constructive, i.e. moving towards accomplishment of a dream, it would require staying in the moment as it is done. It would be preferable that it not be “junk miles” either. Junk miles defined as a running or walking pace that doesn’t improve aerobic fitness. In this sense we would be referring to doing s.t., even in the endeavor, that is a waste of time and not moving towards the accomplishment of a dream, like (take your choice) shooting pool without paying attention to the shot. And yet to get things started, activities could be in this category as long as they progress toward meeting the specification of moving toward the accomplishment of the dream.

Yes, I think we’re there. This entry is short but more would be a waste of words. Once again the blog has brought me to a conclusion and from here on out I will be more effectively spending my time.

Safe Harbor

It’s been a long time since I sat here in the SAC and wrote in a notebook. Mme Day’s class was cut short today due to her not feeling well so I decided to come in here and drink a cup of coffee, eat a muffin, and write.

Now, I know there are a thousand other things I could be doing but this was my decision. I am not going to waste any more psychic energy than this on the choice; I am aware that I could be sketching for the diary

Of/on what subject shall I write? One of me is suggesting a game to play. It involves making overtures in my blog(s) to see if a certain one is reading, the question comes up; if so, then what?

Often in the past I have embarked on such ventures, not often into personal but more often a road to participating in some activity only to have it turn out to be s.t. not desired and then dropped. When the activity involved others it often turned messy, or at least the termination of it wasn’t handled very sensitively.

Where it involved an organization, it could be terminated without rancor and where it was a skill activity, it could be terminated with simple abandonment without regard to repercussions. Some value could be salvaged financially through the sale of the asset; some for more than paid, some for less.

The one being suggested is a slippery slope onto which I shall not venture.

I recall a time in C60 when I had put things right. It was 1975/6 and I had organized the division such that it was functioning without my direct intervention. There were periods of weeks, even months, when I had nil to do. I had designed an organization, assigned responsibilities, set goals in each of ten areas, interacted weekly, but not to interfere, with those who were in charge and reporting to me.

I had finished my work in C60; I could add nothing more to it. There were even times when I would go for walks in the vast shipyard, from one end to the other to get ideas. But I didn’t have a next move and I was only thirty-six years old. The move came out of left field, in the guise of NNI, a complete change of venue and type of people. Whatever went on behind the scenes to suggest this change, I was not in on any of it. It could have been an extensive analysis or a quick decision; I don’t know.

I am an organizational genius, a systems nerd, an innovator, a person who plays the hand dealt. While this sounds good, it is lacking in an important area. It is even difficult for me to express what that is. Is it a philosophy? Is it an over-arching goal? Is it a desire to fill a need? Is it a reluctance to make a change? Is it being overly sensitive to the feelings of those with whom I am now involved? Is it a fear at the bottom of all these questions—fear to do something else?

In a big way I am there/here again; and have been for almost ten years. The house, the life-style, the income, budget, and activities; all satisfying and the very picture of what anyone could want; then the family, the affection they show, the Acting, golf, riding, and pool, which are the core endeavors. And under that layer, 14 more endeavors and a performance evolution method that works for me. IOW, I have what I set out to get—now what? One answer is to develop the acting endeavor into a professional career, as an actor v. an agent, or director, or trainer, or techie.

I am, however, caught in a web of comfort. A good analogy is that of a sailor who, on a good boat, made it to port, through storm, tide, shifting winds, rain, and night and is now safely moored in a quiet harbor, riding calmly at a mooring with enough provisions to last indefinitely. What does he do now, just sit there?

If my past is prologue, he will weigh anchor, put up the sails and go forth without making a definite choice of destination; sail on to see what islet pops up. Perhaps a small one that allows for quickly exploring it then sailing on to somewhere else. A larger one may take more time but eventually, like now, would also be known/ explored/ understood and the same wanderlust would set in; sort of a Gulliver.

I sit here having attained an age of seventy-one, the result of all that has gone before, ready to set sail again. Perhaps acting is the destination. If it is a genuine desire, it will appear ever larger on the horizon until I anchor in the protected cove on its coast.

I don’t however feel that I have left the anchorage of where I am. I am visiting the harbor pubs, trading lies with the patrons, hearing the stories, building the desire but I haven’t shoved off as yet. An odd question, will it be a decision that is made or one that is recognized after the fact as having been made?

I realize I’ve said that I am now an actor; I could just as easily have said writer, consultant, trainer, or speaker; saying it doesn’t make it so. I’m working at the art of acting by studying, auditioning, learning lines, rehearsing, and performing; by putting myself out there to be recognized, by putting myself in target rich environments. It seems to be working, because I am working and getting paid for it, albeit little. In the longer run, I suppose we will have to revisit this whole thing in another year or so and see where is the boat.

With Whom?

An interesting observation: if I only do what is on my list and calendar, I have much unoccupied time. It is deep in the soul to be occupied, somehow. It is unsettling to sit idle and in order to avoid this feeling, one will find ways to occupy one’s time. I’m not going to list them all but they include work, hobbies of all sorts, reading, writing (such as I am doing right now), television, movies, looking out the window at traffic or just looking out the window. One of the secrets of success is to fill unoccupied time with activities that achieve s.t., things that are consistent with aim.

There is a quote in “New York, the Novel” that the author attributes to Gertrude Stein: “Give me three hours of uninterrupted time every day and I can accomplish more than the vast majority of people.” This rings true but only if one has identified what it is he/she wants to accomplish. This is the rub that I run into, and I am sure that I’m not alone. What is it that I want to accomplish right now? Aside: anyone privy to my notebooks and who’s read my blog to date knows that this question has been plaguing me for a long time. Not having clear focus on a desired end result leads to being distracted into an activity that is not focused on aim and, therefore, a waste of time.

But there is another dimension or aspect that has to be considered and that is desire. It is one thing to have a long list of things that one would accomplish if he wanted to but there is a feeling that the time right now is not right for any one of them. There may be something going on in here that keeps a persona out of the foreground and, therefore, unable to do.

There is the possibility that inertia is in play, or even momentum. These two phenomena are psychological as well as physical, as in when one gets involved in an activity and continues to pursue it well after it is appropriate to quit or when one procrastinates and doesn’t start. These are always possible diversions from working on aim. Inertia may be another word for laziness and could be caused by fatigue; but sometimes one naps and still doesn’t take the bull by the horns afterwards.

Diversion into television programs, news, weather, sports, internet searches, and puzzles for inordinate amounts of time waste lifetime. This is time lost that can never be recuperated and yet there are industries that have built up around giving people the opportunity for diversion. The key is, of course, to use diversion as a sort of recreation and not an end in itself but the purveyors of diversion will allow you to divert as much as you want. The more you divert the better their return on investment. As with the more serious addictive diversions, realization that the possibility exists for getting too deeply involved should be enough to break the pattern and replace diversion with working on aim.

My aims are along the lines of the eighteen endeavors that I have decided to follow and even these are ranked according to importance or desirability or degree of participation desired. Participation in the endeavors allows me to always have options of things to do that are in accordance with dreams, strategies, goals, and acts. The planning method I described earlier allows this homogeneity to exist and allows me to get back to work whenever I get side-tracked into areas that are not according to aim.

The selection and then association with others of like mind is an area of work that I continue to pursue. There are others, with whom I associate ad hoc, and this is good. I am wondering if there should be a place(s) where I could go to just associate in general with others. There are social networking sites that allow this but it is contrived and artificial. They tend to allow one to think he is associating when he is not. It is a virtual situation that doesn’t fulfill my needs. Others have places where they “hang out” and socialize with whoever enters. It takes time to develop such and even then it is only temporary as others drop in and out of circle.

This association thing is much bigger than occasional social contact. In a larger sense it encompasses neighborhoods, congregations, societies, even cities. When the ambience of the association is no longer desirable, people tend to disassociate and move on and attempt to find other associations that provide for their needs. On a grand scale this happens in cities and the one that comes to mind is the city of St. Louis where the population grew to more than 850 thousand people at its peak to less than 250 thousand now. It did this because the city became less than desirable to the citizens. Some, like me, moved away because there was no feeling of identity with the place, others moved to get more desirable housing, others for fear of their safety, others for fear of ever lower real estate values, others to get a feeling that they had it better in a new house and new neighborhood, others as a reaction to the general degradation of the infrastructure, and still others for reasons that are not listed here. The result is a void of more than 500 thousand people who used to live and interact socially within the city limits. The same is true of other cities, including Louisville, but astute politicians, in the true sense of the word, have moved boundaries around and taken steps to address some of the issues that cause people to relocate.

My conundrum remains, where are my non-specific social outlets, to where I can go, fit in, stay as long as I want, leave and return later without recrimination? Where there is always some familiar person, not always the same, with whom I can associate.